Mongo Pee-Friend Vlad Tells Americans To Sit Down And Shut Up

Vlad The Impaler, God Emperor For Life of Russia, and Mongo’s great good pee-friend, has told the Americans they must respectfully worship Mongo, or else they will be put in a Camp.

“Mongo was elected by the American people. And at least for this reason it is necessary to show respect for him, even if you do not agree with some of his positions,” the Russian leader said.

“Inside the country, disrespect is shown for him. This is a regrettable 28617-2916-1498putin rides trump_anegative component of the US political system,” Vlad said.

In Vlad’s opinion, “one can argue but one can’t show disrespect, even not for him personally but for those people who voted for him.”

“I believe that the president of the United States does not need any advice because one has to possess certain talent and go through this trial to be elected, even without having the experience of such big administrative work. He has done this,” the Russian leader said.

“He won honestly,” Vlad added, as the room erupted in giggles.

Vlad suggested that those who do not bend the knee to Mongo must “eat polonium pancakes or be shot in the elevator, as happens in my country. At the very least, they will be whipped in the streets.”

Mongo got a little woody, informed of Vlad’s words, and rushed to the twit machine, there to twitler that Vlad is “so nice. He could not have been nicer. He was so nice and so everything. He is a nicer person than I am. You have to give him credit that what he’s doing for that country in terms of their world prestige is very strong. I believe Vlad will continue to re-build the Russian Empire. He’s done an amazing job of taking the mantle. You look at what he’s doing. And so smart. When you see the riots in a country because they’re hurting the Russians: ‘okay, we’ll go and take it over.’ And he really goes step by step by step, and you have to give him a lot of credit. Russia is like, I mean they’re really hot stuff. In all fairness to Vlad, you’re saying he killed people—I haven’t seen that. I don’t know that he has. Have you been able to prove that? He hasn’t been convicted of anything. I’ve always had a good instinct about Vlad. I have received a gift from Vlad—an award and a beautiful letter. We got along great, by the way. Vlad said good things about me. He said, ‘he’s a leader and there’s no question about it, he’s a genius.’ If he says great things about me, I’m going to say great things about him. I’ve already said, he is really very much of a leader. We’re going to have a great relationship with Vlad and Russia. He is my new best friend.”

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