Mongo Signs Executive Order Banning Melanin

The Los Angeles Dodgers are a baseball team based in California, which is decidedly not a Mongo region. In that state, the top elected officials commonly say things like: “California is building a wall of justice against President unnamed-2Trump’s xenophobic, racist, and ignorant immigration policies.”

And so it is right and meet that when the Dodgers go out on the road, they do not stay in Morongo hotels. Like all Sane and Decent people, they would rather drink muddy water, sleep in a hollow log.

The Dodgers’ decision was sparked by first baseman Adrian Gonzalez, whom Mongo will soon now deport, because he is a Mexican, and therefore a rapist drug criminal.

The Los Angeles Dodgers, for instance, returned to Trump’s Chicago hotel in May 2016 on a road trip to play the Cubs. But Adrian Gonzalez, a Mexican American first baseman, chose to stay elsewhere.

“You can draw your own conclusions” about why, Gonzalez told the Los Angeles Times. “They’re probably right.”

The team soon followed suit. When the Dodgers returned to Chicago for the playoffs that year, they stayed at a new hotel.

The Dodgers are currently preparing to win the World Series, but U Bum will invalidate the results, declaring the team ineligible because of the players’ criminal refusal to frequent his fleabags. He will put them in Guantanamo, and declare the New York teams winners of all the sports, by divine right of playing on an island so stupid and boring the Lanape let it go for a couple of beads.

During the 2016 presidential campaign Adrian Gonzalez posted the below video to his twit-tube:

As a result, Morongo has directed the Pentagon to use drones to take out his family. You’ll see up above a photo of Gonzalez and his family, in disguise, preparing to extort candy from the homes of white people. “Nits make lice,” Mongo commands.

Gonzalez had accent marks placed on his name on his jersey and has encouraged other Latin MLB players to do the same. Mongo has determined this means he is a communist agitator who should be shot in a jungle like Che.

In the world according to Mongo, Puerto Ricans are as bad as Mexicans: even before the hurricane their island was a trash heap, and Morongo is sick of dealing with it. He threw them some towels: what more do they want? Also trash heaps are “the inner cities,” where “the Democrats have ruled for 100 years“; these are infested with “the minorities,” who are begging the police to fire their guns at all times, but the police can’t, just sit on their bullets, because “they have to be politically correct.”
Mongo every day twitlers threats and abuse to all and every, including dropping nukes on people and hitlering broadcast licenses, but the geniuses there just let him rail on, even as they suspend Rose McGowan for being Mean to Penises. What a perfect useless platform. Soon come Michael Rennie, flying over in a Gort ship, with a big magnet, to erase it all.

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4 Responses to “Mongo Signs Executive Order Banning Melanin”


  1. 1 janis October 12, 2017 at 9:02 pm

    When will we learn to recognise and accept the true gifts we are offered?

    Thank you for reminding me of such an amazing film.

    I will watch it again …


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