Archive for October, 2017

Science Men Confirm Chemical Composition Of 400 Pound Guy On The Bed

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“If a fart were a solid rather than a gas, it would look like Sarah Sanders.”

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Previews Of Coming Attractions

Mongo’s Mueller Monday

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the mongo awoke before dawn
he put his boots on
he took a face from the ancient gallery
and he walked on down the hall . . .

Mongo woke before dawn on Monday and burrowed in at the Whiter House residence to wait for the Russia bombshell he knew was coming.

Separated from most of his West Wing staff, Mongo clicked on the television and spent the morning playing fuming media critic, legal analyst and crisis communications strategist.

The resident digested the news of the first indictments in Special Counsel Robert S. Mueller III’s probe with exasperation and disgust. He called his lawyers repeatedly. He listened intently to cable news commentary. And, with rising irritation, he watched live footage of his onetime campaign adviser and confidant, Pavel Rooskifort, turning himself in to the FBI.

A few minutes later, court documents were unsealed showing that George Papadopoulos, a foreign policy adviser on Mongo’s campaign, pleaded guilty to making a false statement to the FBI about his efforts to broker a relationship between Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin. The case provides the clearest evidence yet of links between Mongo’s campaign and Russian officials.

Mongo’s anger Monday was visible to those who interacted with him, and the mood in the corridors of the White House was one of weariness and fear of the unknown. As the resident groused upstairs, many staffers—some of eighty-years-later-bride-of-frankenstein-is-still-sexy-and-scary-1026-1445874107whom have hired lawyers to help them navigate Mueller’s investigation—privately speculated about where the special counsel might turn next.

Mongo is also increasingly agitated by the expansion of Mueller’s probe into financial issues beyond the 2016 campaign and about the potential to him and his family.

“The walls are closing in,” said one senior Republican in close contact with top staffers. “Everyone is freaking out.”

Bezos

The first big takeaway from Monday morning’s flurry of charging and plea documents with respect to Pavel Rooskifort, Jr., Richard “Prison” Gates III, and George Papadopoulos is this: the resident of the United States had as his campaign chairman a man who had allegedly served for years as an unregistered foreign agent for a puppet government of Vladimir Putin, a man who was allegedly laundering remarkable sums of money even while running the now-president’s campaign, a man who allegedly lied about all of this to the FBI and the Justice Department.

The second big takeaway is even starker: a member of Mongo’s campaign team admits that he was working with people he knew to be tied to the Russian government to “arrange a meeting between the Campaign and the Russian government officials” and to obtain “dirt” on Hillary Clinton in the form of thousands of hacked emails—and that he lied about these activities to the FBI. He briefed Mongo on at least some of them.

The Papadopoulos stipulation offers a stunningly frank, if probably incomplete, account of what occurred during the spring of 2016 in the Mongo campaign. To wit, during that period, Mongo campaign officials were actively working to set up a meeting with Russian officials or representatives. And from a very early point in the campaign, those meetings were explicitly about obtaining hacked, incriminating emails. 

Susan Hennessey & Benjamin Wittes

Asked about the indictments on Monday evening in Moscow, Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov said, “We don’t know what the charges are.” After a and c_fmbeing sent a copy of the indictments, he responded, “My office hours are over!”

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Mueller’s opening bid is a remarkable show of strength. He has a cooperating witness from inside the campaign’s interactions with the Russians. And he is alleging not mere technical infractions of law but astonishing criminality on the part of Mongo’s campaign manager, a man who also attended the Mongo Tower meeting.

Any hope the White Houser may have had that the Mueller investigation might be fading away vanished Monday morning. Things are only going to get worse from here. 

Susan Hennessey & Benjamin Wittes

this is the end
of all elaborate plans
the end
of everything that stands
the end
no safety or surprise
the end

this
is
the
end

Race Is Run

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That’s How It Works

One day, when I was 19 years old, I was in the middle of a photo shoot for a Miramax film when I was suddenly told it was time to leave. I was wearing a little black dress, showing a lot of cleavage, lying seductively on my side and looking slyly at the camera. The part I had played in the movie, Guinevere, could not have been more removed from this pose. My character was an awkward girl, bumbling, in fact, who wore sweatshirts and jeans, and had little sense of her sexual power. But this was how they were going to sell the movie, and at a certain point, I was tired of being a problem, which is how a female actor is invariably treated whenever she points out that she is being objectified or not respected.

I was pulled out of the photo shoot abruptly. The publicist stories-we-tell---sp-and-mp-snowmansaid that we needed to be in Harvey Weinstein’s office in 20 minutes.

“Are we done here?” I asked. “No” was the answer. “But Harvey wants you there now.”

In the taxi, the publicist looked at me and said: “I’m going in with you. And I’m not leaving your side.” I knew everything I needed to know in that moment, and I was grateful.

When I got there, Mr. Weinstein wasted no time. He told me, in front of the publicist and a co-worker beside him, that a famous star, a few years my senior, had once sat across from him in the chair I was in now. Because of his “very close relationship” with this actress, she had gone on to play leading roles and win awards. If he and I had that kind of “close relationship,” I could have a similar career. “That’s how it works,” I remember him telling me. The implication wasn’t subtle. I replied that I wasn’t very ambitious or interested in acting, which was true. He then asked me about my political activism and went on to recast himself as a left-wing activist, which was among the funniest things I’d ever heard.

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Lost In The Mail

My Harvey story is different, mostly because of timing. I was in one of the first films that Weinstein produced. I accepted a supporting role in a small movie based on Loser Takes All, the short novel by Graham Greene. I was twenty years old. The idea of playing a supporting role in a small British movie appealed to me after having just made a big splash in the John Hughes movies. Plus, I was an enormous fan of Greene’s writing. When we began filming, in France, I was gallery-1445357085-gettyimages-111614916warned about the producer, but I had never heard of him and had no reason to fear him.

Thankfully, I wasn’t cajoled into a taxi, nor did I have to turn down giving or getting a massage. I was lucky. Or perhaps it was because, at that moment in time, I was the one with more power. The English Patient, Weinstein’s first Best Picture winner, was still a few years away. The worst I had to contend with was performing new pages that Harvey had someone else write, which were not in the script; my co-star, Robert Lindsay, and I had signed off to do a film adapted and directed by one person, and then were essentially asked to turn our backs on him and film scenes that were not what we had agreed to. We hadn’t even finished filming, and the movie was already being taken away from the director.

After that, the film was completely taken away, recut, and retitled. Weinstein named it Strike It Rich, because he insisted that Americans couldn’t stand to have the word “loser” in a title. He also changed the poster: he had my head stuck onto another body, dressed in a form-fitting, nineteen-fifties-pinup-style dress, with a hand reaching out to accept a diamond, like Marilyn Monroe in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. I wouldn’t have posed for a picture like that, since it had nothing to do with the character I portrayed; it struck me as ridiculous false advertising. (I was always a little mystified that Harvey had a reputation as a great tastemaker when he seemed so noticeably lacking in taste himself. But he did have a knack for hiring people who had it, and I figured that’s what passes for taste in Hollywood.) In any case, the film tanked. I had a percentage of the gross, and, as it turned out, you still make money if you have a gross percentage. I found this out about a year later, when my lawyer called to tell me that I had been denied the percentage owed to me. She asked if it was O.K. if she went after the Weinsteins. I ended up suing them for the money, which I got, and I never worked with Harvey or the company again.

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Humans Transitioning Into New Life Forms

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