Archive for September, 2017

No Long Lines For You

The loss of life, it’s always tragic, but it’s been incredible, the results that we’ve had with respect to loss of life. People can’t believe how successful that has been, relatively speaking.

U Bum

President Tiny Twitter Fingers lashed out at the Mayor of San Juan on Saturday morning using thinly veiled racist language to disparage Puerto Ricans who are in desperate need of help after Hurricane Maria.

Trump, tweeting from a golf hurricane-maria-2017-billboard-1548course in New Jersey (because where else would the president be when citizens of the U.S. are facing a humanitarian crisis?), went on a rant early Saturday morning after Mayor Yulín Cruz of San Juan desperately begged for help on Friday. 

“I am going to do what I never thought I would do,” said Cruz. “I am begging, begging anyone who can hear us to save us from dying.”

She also accused the Trump administration of “killing us with inefficiency.”

I guess the president didn’t like her tone.

“The Mayor of San Juan, who was very complimentary only a few days ago, has now been told by the Democrats that you must be nasty to Trump,” U Bum twitlered. “Such poor leadership ability by the Mayor of San Juan, and others in Puerto Rico, who are not able to get their workers to help.

“They want everything to be done for them when it should be a community effort,” the filthy racist animal twitlered around 7:30 a.m. Saturday. He also said that there were “10,000 Federal workers now on Island doing a fantastic job.”

“Fantastic” would not be the word anyone would use in terms of the federal response in PR; and yet when news outlets reported these facts, the president called them “fake” (of course).

To even assume that American citizens in the throes of a natural disaster “want everything done for them” just plays into the racist trope of people of color being lazy and unwilling to help themselves.

Of course Trump got stomped on Twitter this am:

Angela Helm

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Blood Coming Out Of His Wherever

I was at Mar-a-Lago and we had this incredible ball, the Red Cross Ball, in Palm Beach, Florida. And we had the Marines. And the Marines were there, and it was terrible because all these rich people, they’re there to support the Marines, but they’re really there to get their picture in the Palm Beach Post. So you have all these really rich people, and a man, about 80 years old—very wealthy man, a lot of people didn’t like him—he fell off the stage.

So what happens is, this guy falls off right on his face, hits his head, and I thought he died. And you know what I did? I jjge1ncreosftkf8zyj3said, “Oh my God, that’s disgusting,” and I turned away. I couldn’t, you know, he was right in front of me, and I turned away. I didn’t want to touch him. He’s bleeding all over the place, I felt terrible. You know, beautiful marble floor, didn’t look like it. It changed color. Became very red. And you have this poor guy, 80 years old, laying on the floor unconscious, and all the rich people are turning away. “Oh my God! This is terrible! This is disgusting!” And you know, they’re turning away. Nobody wants to help the guy. His wife is screaming—she’s sitting right next to him, and she’s screaming.

What happens is, these ten Marines from the back of the room, they come running forward, they grab him, they put the blood all over the place—it’s all over their uniforms—they’re taking it, they’re swiping it, they ran him out, they created a stretcher. They call it a human stretcher, where they put their arms out with, like, five guys on each side. 

I was saying, “Get that blood cleaned up! It’s disgusting!” The next day, I forgot to call him to say he’s okay. It’s just not my thing.

Resident Trayf

U Bum Proposes NFL “Compromise”

U Bum, the mean, nasty, ignorant old cracker who is president of the American white people, has in recent days sought to deflect attention from the Reality that he is a Rooski by assailing those black athletes, toiling on the plantation of the National Football League, who have chosen to kneel during the pre-game singing of “The Star-Spangled Banner” to protest the fact that in their country the police commonly beat and shoot black people, for No Reason, and Whenever They Feel Like It.

U Bum has convinced his hooting, grunting cultists that these athletes, through this act, are in truth deliberately disrespecting 24-nfl-protests-bills-med.w710.h473serial killers—those deeply disturbed individuals who enlist in the United States military so they can travel the world killing people and breaking things.

Because they are dumber than dirt, neither U Bum, nor any of his Roids, know, or care, that the kneeling was actually suggested as the form of protest by a former serial killer—as that man explains in the Trevor Noah video embedded below. For: “soldiers take a knee before a fallen brother’s grave, to show respect.” (It is true that U Bum, and all of his Roids, will never credit anything that comes from Noah, as Noah is not only a black man, but a foreigner black man.)

U Bum believes publicly fellating some hoary old tuneless ditty, penned by a rich white slaveowner who believed blacks are “a distinct and inferior race of people, which all experience proves to be the greatest evil that afflicts a community,” and which celebrates bombs and killing and slavery and shit, is more important than actual living black people. So too believe his mouth-breathing millions of Roids.

But when U Bum publicly burst his pustule about the uppity black men, hundreds of NFL athletes, as well as coaches, owners, anthem-singers, and the like, responded by kneeling, linking arms, refusing to emerge from the locker room, and other demonstrations that clearly communicated that the mere thought of U Bum makes them projectile vomit, blowing chunks farther than any of them can throw, run, or kick a football.

U Bum, seeking, as ever, to emerge The Winner—and bigly!—has 852946620.0now proposed what he terms a “compromise”: all the players must stand for the old white racist national anthem, but the black players can, and in fact should, kneel for the singing of what U Bum calls “that timeless Negroid national anthem—’Ol’ Man River.’

“We know it is a Negrified national anthem, because it was sung by that famous communist Negro Paul Robeson, who should have been thrown in a dungeon, like all these uppity football players,” U Bum said. “And while the song will be pleasing to the Negroes, because of the Robeson connection, it also has all these wonderful lyrics, that are all about Making America Great Again, that will satisfy the real people. Lyrics like these:”

darkies work while de white folks play
gittin’ no rest till de judgement day

don’t look up
an’ don’t look down
you don’ dast make
de white boss frown
bend your knees
an’ bow your head
an’ pull dat rope
until you dead

o’ man river
dat ol’ man river
he mus’ know sumpin’
but don’t say nuthin’
he jes’ keeps rollin’
he keeps on rollin’ along

U Bum stated that the song must be cut off there, “because some of the rest of it is unholy terrorism about getting out from under the white man, which is not in keeping with Making America Great Again.”

U Bum said the black players can agree to this compromise, “or they can go to Guantanamo.”

“We need to get back to the good old days!” U Bum chundered.

And all his many millions of Roids, they cheered: “Yeah! What he said!”

“U Bum! U Bum! U Bum!”

Turn To Stone

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You thought it was a fable, didn’t you, a fairy tale, just shit made up, but you were wrong, oh so wrong, for Medusa, such a creature is very Real, and, moreover, Medusa is Mongo, a being so vile and heinous that merely gazing upon him, as in the photograph above, can cause a person to turn to stone, that photo further revealing that Mongo, he is not a human at all, but instead the hideous offspring of sexual congress between a blowfish and a sphincter, and, once upon a time, guitarist Roy Buchanan, he looked upon that photo, and from it he received a precognitive flash, that one day Mongo would become the president, and that is why Buchanan, he then took off his shirt, and tied it around his neck, and commenced to hung hisself, until he was dead dead dead, as dead as the soul, of Mongo.

Vlad Pee-Friend Mongo Twitlers Fuhrer Directive

Son Of A Bitch Speaks

Yes He Klan


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