Yeehaws Desert Mongo

In the hours and days since Mongo swaggered out in the swastika armband, jackbooting around and demanding everyone address him as “Adolf,” the Sane and Decent people across nineteen galaxies have run from him at top speed.

Most recent to leave him are the nation’s Trump-puts-America-first-in-manufacturing-trade-speechcountry musicians, who formerly had remained mum, or eagerly offered him their sisters. Bezos provides here a report on how such dirtclod luminaries as Blake Shelton, Tim McGraw, and Faith Hill are now cleaning their spurs on Mongo’s ass.

Yeehaw megastar Keith Toby has meanwhile reached out to red to announce that tomorrow morning he will release a new anti-Mongo recording. “I jist caint abide him no more,” Toby told red. “There’s somethin’ real wrong with that boy.” Toby shared with red the first lines of his new song, which are reproduced below.

i like to drink some whiskey
and then go crash my truck
when my hound shits on the carpet
i could give a fuck
i’ve diddled some my sisters
my aunts and cousins too
when they test my pee down at the job
it comes back pure homebrew
but a man must have some standards
or he might as well be dead
and so i stand no more with him
who watches hookers pee the bed
Toby says the flip side of this tune will feature his Wall of Voodoo-style rendition of the Johnny Cash classic “Ring Of Fire,” which, he says, “references Mongo’s bunghole.”

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When I Worked

August 2017

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