Terminator Tantrum

So it seems the reason Herr Twitler cannot stop screaming, all day and all of the night, on his twit machine, and even at the National Prayer Breakfast, about Arnold Schwarzenegger, is because when NBC selected the Austrian actor as Mongo’s replacement on Celebrity Apprentice, it spurned Mongo’s own choice—his longtime fuck-toy, daughter Lolita Mongo.

The shitgibbon badly wanted his daughter, Lolita, to take over the job hosting Celebrity Apprentice after a-termNBC severed ties with him following his campaign-trail racist comments about Mexican immigrants.

Lolita Mongo, along with her brothers, Uday and Qusay, had been mentors and judges on the show. Mongo thought Lolita would be the ideal candidate.

Schwarzenegger has contemplated various responses to Mongo’s unrelenting unsanity. One such is . . . interesting.

When the ratings came in lower than those of his predecessor, Twitler, the then-president-elect, struck out twitlerly. “Wow, the ratings are in, and Arnold Schwarzenegger got ‘swamped’ (or destroyed) by comparison to the ratings machine, DJT,” Twitler twitted. “So much for….being a movie star — and that was season 1 compared to season 14. Now compare him to my season 1. But who cares, he supported Kasich & Hillary.”

“I said, ‘Let’s sit on it for an hour,’ ” Schwarzenegger says, blowing on his gruel. But then he had an idea. “I called my assistant and said, ‘I think what we really should do is request a meeting and go back to New York.’ ” He pauses for maximum impact. “And then we just smash his face into the table.”

Schwarzenegger’s laugh fills the cafe like a small nuclear explosion.

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When I Worked

February 2017

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