Nits Make Lice

Asked on Monday whether Twitler’s order should apply to 5-year-old children, White House press secretary Cabbage Man gave a clear answer: yes.

“That’s why we slow it down a little. To make sure nitsthat if they are a 5-year-old, that maybe they’re with their parents and they don’t pose a threat. But to assume that just because of someone’s age or gender or whatever that they don’t pose a threat would be misguided and wrong.”

At dawn on November 29th, 1864, Colonel John Chivington and 700 men reached the edge of Black Kettle’s camp on the banks of Sand Creek. Some regular army officers protested that to attack the peaceable village would betray the army’s pledge of safety. Chivington ignored them. “Damn any man who sympathizes with Indians,” he said. “Kill and scalp all, big and little; nits make lice.”

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