So My Daughter Can Walk Around on My Face

When I was 19, I was cast as Princess Leia in Star Wars.

The mistake was I signed away my likeness for free. In those days, there was no such thing as a “likeness,” which is a funny thing to say coming from the family that I came from. There was no merchandising tied to movies. No one could have known the extent of the franchise. Not that I don’t think I’m cute or anything, but when I looked in the mirror, I didn’t think I was signing away anything of value.

Lately I feel like I’m Minnie Mouse—the identity of Princess Leia so eclipses any other identity that I’ve ever had.

As I’ve gone along, people will come to me and say, “We got the licensing from George Lucas to make these socks.” So my daughter can walk around on my face. I was shopping at Williams-Sonoma, and they’re selling little sticks of Princess Leia that you put in your cupcake. Who wouldn’t need those? I paid for it. How much money could I have made from all this stuff? I don’t want to know. It’s too upsetting. Yet funny. For example, I found out recently that I am a type of marijuana. A friend of my daughter’s actually went to one of those medical places, and she told me there was a type of marijuana named Princess Leia. I never liked marijuana, so the fact that I’m a type of marijuana is ironic.

I’ve teased George Lucas about this over the years, but he’s never been apologetic.

When you’re 19 you don’t even think about these things. I don’t know what everyone else’s excuse was. Harrison Ford was 33! He should have known better! Here’s where I’m dumb. I assume if there’s an argument to be made, Harrison would have made it, and if he made it, I would have heard about it, because we had the same deal. But Harrison hasn’t fixed his deal. So this is an ongoing mistake.

Mistakes are a drag, because you get in the area of regret and self-pity. I don’t like to linger in this zone. Obviously, drug use is a huge mistake. So I’ve made some bad choices. That’s reflected in the Princess Leia thing. I do not take it on.

Me having a tantrum in the corner for my cut of Star Wars toothpaste? I don’t want to get into it. Every so often, I wonder if Natalie Portman is getting more money than the none I’m getting. If she’s holding a check for Princess Amidala’s likeness in one hand and her Oscar in the other, that would piss me off.

Carrie Fisher


4 Responses to “So My Daughter Can Walk Around on My Face”

  1. 1 Dylan Anderson December 27, 2016 at 5:57 pm

    that was a good read. It sucks that we have lost George Micheal and Carrie Fisher this year.
    Thanks for sharing this uncle kevin! Hope you had a great Christmas.

    • 2 bluenred December 27, 2016 at 6:43 pm

      Yes, too many dead people. The BBC actually did a study, and confirmed that there have been more dead people this year, than in normal years.

      Here is another Fisher story:

      Remember the white dress I wore all through that film? George came up to me the first day of filming, took one look at the dress and said: “You can’t wear a bra under that dress.”

      “OK, I’ll bite,” I said. “Why?” And he said: “Because … there’s no underwear in space.”

      He said it with such conviction. Like he had been to space and looked around and he didn’t see any bras or panties anywhere.

      He explained. “You go into space and you become weightless. Then your body expands but your bra doesn’t, so you get strangled by your own underwear.”

      I think that this would make for a fantastic obituary. I tell my younger friends that no matter how I go, I want it reported that I drowned in moonlight, strangled by my own bra.

      Here is a George Michael song, with Aretha Franklin. She is not permitted to die.

      Merry Christmas to you, too. ; )

  2. 3 sally December 28, 2016 at 10:09 am

    Ah, so how come Lucas didn’t back up and give Carrie and Ford and whoever else a share in the “identity” toys, Never thought he was mean? And Carrie’s bit about “no underwear” in space was a zinger. I’ve never read any of her books– maybe I should check into that?
    And, again, I am happy to see you back here, though the holiday is slowing my email reading and I need to catch up, Plus I’ve always known I had bats in my belfry, BUT just discovered I also have rats in my attic. Life is such an adventure!

    • 4 bluenred December 28, 2016 at 10:23 am

      I haven’t read any, either. But am thinking that I should.

      No one knew the toys would be a thing; when Lucas asked for all merchandising rights, in his deal with the studio, the studio said sure, why not, who cares? The studio didn’t think there’d be any money there. The only person who thought there might be, was Lucas. Since he was the one with the insight, I guess he feels that means he should get all the money. He’s a strange dude. When I get some time I’ll post the story here of Lucas & his toy deal.

      I suppose what you have, is better than having bats in your attic and rats in your belfry. ; /

      Maybe you should call Mongo, and tell him the rats are Mexicans. He’ll send the army.

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When I Worked

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