My Body Is On Fire

The state of Oklahoma is officially classified as a Hellhole. It is populated primarily by orcs, and its chief export is dust. It is a Known Fact that more humanoids in Oklahoma fuck cows, than each other. Thus, for many years the state was represented in the United States by a hybrid who would abolish science (James Inhofe), and a hybrid who would abolish women (Tom Coburn). And because its citizenry firmly believes there is not already enough death and man-on-firesuffering in the world, Oklahoma has of late specialized in executing human beings in as cruel and unusual a manner as possible.

And so, on Thursday night, there was Charles Warner, who reported from the death chamber, as lethal toxins were injected into his system, “my body is on fire.”

Earlier, Warner had stated, of the death-prep procedure, “they poked me five times. It hurt. It feels like acid.”

Warner’s attorney, Madeline Cohen, who witnessed the execution, said there was no way to know if Warner suffered because the second drug, a paralytic, would have prevented him from moving.

“Because Oklahoma injected Mr. Warner with a paralytic tonight, acting as a chemical veil, we will never know whether he experienced the intense pain of suffocation and burning that would result from injecting a conscious person with rocuronium bromide and potassium chloride,” Cohen said in a statement.

Oklahomans originally wished to extinguish Warner in a Doublemint (“double your pleasure/double your fun”) execution on April 29 of last year, when citizens across the state planned to experience powerful Thanatos orgasms as both Warner and Clayton Lockett were put to death.

However, Warner’s extermination was put on hold when Lockett, the first victim in the Death Show, “convulsed, spurted blood and writhed on his gurney during an execution that lasted 43 minutes,” one that even automatons working for the prison industry described as “a bloody mess,” one so prolonged and macabre and bizarre that at one point his murderers decided to try to haul him off to a hospital and there resuscitate him.

Both Warner and Lockett were black men. And Oklahomans love killing black men. Even more than they like fucking cows. It was a huge bummer, then, there on April 29, when they didn’t get to kill two, in one night.

After the Lockett horror, Oklahoma spent $71,000 on killing “upgrades,” and then successfully fought off a US Supreme Court challenge. There, five members of the high court refused even to consider whether a sedative given to an inmate should or would be strong enough to render him so unconscious that he wouldn’t feel other drugs stop his lungs and heart.

In dissent, Justice Sonia Sotomayor, an actual human being, reiterated that “the Eighth Amendment guarantees that no one should be subjected to an execution that causes searing, unnecessary pain before death.”

But Sotomayor got four votes. Not five. And so the public burning commenced. Yeehaw. Party. In Oklahoma. Where life, it sure is, whitely, grand.

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