A crow came by and landed on the back lawn yesterday morning and caused a rarin’ ruckus because the jays and the robins and the starlings and the doves and the squirrels and all the other one ones didn’t know just didn’t know how to react to this big black what it isone all of a sudden all of a sudden coming in for a landing. But all for sure for sure all everybody was moved to a new and ‘cited hoppin’ jumpin’ jive. With that there crow arrive.

And on the front lawn yesterday morning a torn butterfly ripped to final fatal shit by somebody—maybe; who knows; the crow—the butterfly aching and in pain with ants crawling all over its torn and tattered body and I brushed them away and placed the writhing pain-wracked dying creature in an oregano pot and observed, over the hours, over the hours, over the hours, over the hours, helpless, helpless, helpless, as it writhed, helpless, from life unto death, death, death, death.

Yesterday was my birthday.

And you want me to another year go through this again.
And you want me to another year go through this again.
And you want me to another year go through this again.
And you want me to another year go through this again.
And you want me to another year go through this again.

and you were standin’ there
and you were standin’ there
and you were standin’


in all your revelation
waitin’ for me to come

ain’t nobody
gonna stop me from lovin’ you baby


11 Responses to “bgvuuSosguGsusG”

  1. 1 Miep August 7, 2014 at 1:09 am

    Happy birthday anyway.

  2. 2 sally August 7, 2014 at 9:10 am

    Oh, oh, I commented elsewhere before reading this — The butterfly has just gone elsewhere — is something else –even being a smidgen of energy is probably enough. Oh, once long ago, when doing story hours at that big place in the valley. I saw a caterpillar. Now, I had an aquarium where I had raised tadpoles into tiny frogs and fascinated a bunch of little ones and, yes, they cried when I said I had to release them down by the river, so we had to hop a long time to dry the many tears… Then I came upon a caterpillar amongst some moths and I thought it might be fun to show them a caterpillar (along with reading THE HUNGRY CATERPILLAR) but certain I was “raising” a moth. I put a few sticks and stones and leaves into the aquarium and covered it with cheesecloth — not expecting much. Oh, how delighted were the storyhour children when the creature turned into a chrysalis hanging on one of the sticks and then someone much smarter than I said it might be a butterfly– agghhh. What to do? But then one Saturday morning as I peered into the aquarium, things seemed to be happening– I carefully removed the stick and took it out to the back dock where a small bunch of bushes grew. Soon in front of me was an amazing butterfly. He was wet– I didn’t know they came out wet. I guarded him as he (she?) carefully flexed his wings again and again for almost a half-hour and then blithely flew away. I felt as if I had given birth… ‘Twas an awesome thing. Again, the children cried because I did not keep the butterfly. We had to “fly” like butterflies a much longer time than when we hopped. I feel your pain at you having to share a death watch for one of the beautiful creatures in a universe that at this time is so loaded with the Ugly, but I know the butterfly knew you were there.. that makes me smile… That butterfly is elsewhere and I predict it will bring you some special small gift in the coming days — knowing it was your birthday.. OMMMMMMM – Namaste. xoxox love me

  3. 3 dave h August 15, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    still unrelated to everything, I think you might like this guy’s writing.
    and (amongst others):
    that is all.

    • 4 Miep August 15, 2014 at 7:42 pm

      I like “Facebook of the Dead.” Reminds me of my high school days. I have never regretted changing my name in 1995.

      • 5 bluenred August 21, 2014 at 9:47 am

        I don’t relate to my name. It is an appellation applied to my public self. It has nothing to do with me. I used to write under dozens of pen names. They were no more “me” than “me” is. Once upon a time, i wrote a story, under my own name, for a newspaper, because I had to, in order to get the newspaper’s money, and the story so infuriated a local store-owner that he loudly and publicly proclaimed a jihad boycotting the publication for which I had written the piece. At the same time, he was, personally, bowing and scraping before me, because, in his store, I was, personally, spending $400 on boots. He didn’t connect me, the boot-buyer, with the anathema who wrote the story. I like it like that. Because that’s the way it is.

        • 6 Miep August 21, 2014 at 5:53 pm

          Well, my point was that people from high school can’t track me down, which is a good thing. I did design this name with various considerations, one of which is that it is unique, another of which is that if I just use my initial and last name, it’s exceedingly common. So I can hide when needed.

    • 7 bluenred August 21, 2014 at 9:38 am


      Your appearances are always appreciated. And illuminating.

  4. 8 Elva August 19, 2014 at 10:38 am

    A little late for your Birthday, even tho I called to sing Happy birthday to you on the 6th. I remember many times you would rescue a bird that was injured or had fallen out of the nest in the back yard. Seems like you have not changed and I am so happy about that. You are still my 6 year old boy at heart

    • 9 bluenred August 21, 2014 at 9:49 am

      I hope I was nicer and better, as a six-year-old, than I am now. I suppose that then I was presented with fewer opportunities to fail. Though maybe not. Maybe the fall begins early.

  5. 10 sally August 19, 2014 at 2:44 pm

    ah, Elva — you are so right– things change all about us – and the world is sometimes be too much for some of us, but still the heart does not change and the love I have for you and yours is with me — unchanged and unchanging– xoxox -Namaste –

  6. 11 sally August 21, 2014 at 10:48 am

    Hey, my Many-Named-One– what’s this crap about you failing? Were you sent to the planet on a great quest– were you sent here to seek a jeweled, holy grail? You bring me to tears because if you believe YOU failed, then I have failed you! Do you not know you were there for me when there was no one else — in dark times in my life you gave me joy and laughter and hope– and did things for me that made it possible for me to go on. Just by being there you stopped me from parking on the railroad tracks on Canal Street to wait for a train to come my way. Do you not know I could not have managed without you back then — even if you left macaroni gold dust on my kitchen counters. I believe I have heard all about the stuff on the front seat of your car and the stairs and many other of your so-called “failures.” Okay, I too feel I have let many people down and sometimes that leaves me with a rabid sense of failure. Is it too late for me to regret my past failings? Sometimes I still do– but Mr. Blake says “…we are put on earth a little space that we may learn to bear the beams of love.” It’s certainly time you stopped “deflecting” the beams. I hereby shower you with beams of love and I know many others are showering them down on you! Let them fall. Please let them fall down on you. Namaste xoxox

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When I Worked

August 2014
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