Nose For News

All day I have been seeing these headlines about some racehorse and “nasal strips.”

Do I even want to snortknow what this is about?

No. I do not.

All I know is that yesterday I bought a pink plastic watering can in the shape of a pig; when you water, the water flows out the pig’s twin noseholes.

This, clearly, is the zenith of both the industrial age, and the information age.

As they say in scripture: “It is accomplished.”

Both ages: they are over.

Now, we can move on to something else.

As we can move on to something else from “riding” a horse in a “race.”

When you are with an animal, when an animal is with you, you are only, who you are, when it’s an island.

Just you two.

And you are an animal. All of you.

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10 Responses to “Nose For News”


  1. 1 Julia Rain (the deviant daughter) May 25, 2014 at 10:49 pm

    I am glad that you still have an affinity for pigs, now that you are a Gnome Farmer. 🙂

    • 2 bluenred May 26, 2014 at 12:59 pm

      Water flowing onto plants from pink pig noseholes is the zenith of human creativity. It is, like, accomplished.

      It is like the True Science theory of Kurt Vonnegut that people were created and intended to bend all their efforts to, unknowingly, manufacture and deliver a replacement part for a Tralfamadorian spacecraft marooned on Titan.

      • 3 Rain Jeys May 31, 2014 at 11:59 pm

        I bought a pig trinket for you the other day. Though of course now I also need procure a gnome, as well.

        • 4 bluenred June 4, 2014 at 12:33 am

          That’s very kind of you. About the pig. But you can hold off on the gnomes. There are already 20 here, in some form or another. And people keep saying the gnomes may be a Menace. I don’t believe this. But even if it turns out to be true, I know they can be surmounted. For water, freely flowing from twin pig noseholes, will vanquish all Evil.

          So let it be written. So let it be done.

  2. 5 news April 15, 2015 at 12:26 am

    What i do not understood is if truth be told how you are not actually much more neatly-liked
    than you might be now. You’re so intelligent. You recognize therefore considerably on the subject of
    this subject, made me in my view imagine it from
    so many various angles. Its like women and men don’t seem to be involved unless it is something to accomplish with Girl
    gaga! Your individual stuffs nice. All the time handle it up!

    • 6 bluenred April 23, 2015 at 12:24 am

      I try always to recognize considerably on the subject of the subject. As I try always to all the time handle it up. And thank you very muchly for regarding my individual stuffs nice.

      As for “you’re so intelligent,” that ship, alas, I think has sailed.

      “You ever feel as if your mind had started to erode? Ever been to Utah?”

  3. 7 Jean May 8, 2015 at 11:17 am

    I wish I had the pig watering container,as my city has some watering rules that make it impossible to water my yard. Try watering before 6am and after 9pm,this by a 85 year old lady with a hose and sprinkler. Maybe I will try using my old watering can to see if I can water the flower beds,without being seen by the water police they have hired.

    • 8 bluenred May 11, 2015 at 2:45 pm

      The pignoses are beyond godly. They are the zenith of the industrial and information ages. So, we can now get back to all of what is important.

      I will meanwhile send you, post-haste, a brace of these wonderments.

      For they completely evade any and all Hitler water requirements. They are not “hosepipes,” and thus one may wander the land, with them, at all hours, of the day and night, spraying water freely, from their twin noseholes, without inviting any goosesteppers onto the land to enforce the Law.

      With godly pignoses, the land will live. As will the plants. As will we. As will the Free.

  4. 9 Jean June 17, 2015 at 11:03 am

    Just an update on my pink watering pig. What a helpful little fellow he is. Just the right size for me to use. To save water he sits on my kitchen counter to fill while I wait for the hot water to get hot. I use the water to water my potted plants. Thanks again…


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