New Rulers

Below are the four beings who are currently supervising the planet.

Just thought ya’ll would like to know.

them

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28 Responses to “New Rulers”


  1. 1 Miep January 12, 2014 at 1:15 am

    The ghost of Christmas Past is a squirrel?

    • 2 bluenred January 12, 2014 at 1:28 am

      These beings are beyond Christmas. They are now in charge of it all.

      They are, first, a stately wise man, I believe from the Jesus of Nazareth era, who wormholed through a time portal, into these days. Next, a one-eyed squirrel, hands clasped in prayer around a nut, with a magic paper star draped ’round his neck. Third, a scarifying bag of microwaveable pork rinds. And, finally, the most rotund, obese skeleton, in the entire history of existence.

      They are In Charge.

      • 3 Miep January 12, 2014 at 1:47 am

        So we’re talking lost travelers, deranged rodents, junk food and fat dead people? Well, that would explain a fair number of things. It’s even internally consistent in an odd sort of way. Like everybody is either fat or dead or food, or some of the above. Like being ruled by McDonald’s, if McDonald’s had squirrels.

        • 4 bluenred January 12, 2014 at 2:02 am

          But then, McDonalds does, in fact, Rule:

          The plethora of fast-food restaurants such as McDonald’s typify the recent change in eating habits. That they are antiseptic, depersonalized, a gastronomic atrocity, as critics have complained, is basically true.

          Some critics have declared that the fast-food restaurants have caused changes in eating habits, but it seems more likely that they simply reflect the fundamental changes that have taken place in society as a whole. Traditional social rituals have declined, and the new rituals that are replacing them—rituals based on automobiles, television, technology, and efficiency—cut across previous religious affiliations, ethnic loyalties, and class allegiances.

          A meal at McDonald’s can be looked upon as having some of the character of a social or religious ritual. Rituals occur in designated places, marked by distinctive emblems such as the cross above a church, and at prescribed times, such as the sabbath. For a patron of McDonald’s, the eating rituals occur under the Sign of the Double Golden Arch and at the prescribed times of breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Ritual is also characterized by words and actions that have been prescribed by people other than the current performers of the ritual and that have been codified in some revered text, such as the Pledge of Allegiance or the Bible. The employees of McDonald’s who take the orders and deliver the burgers, fries, and shakes display a behavioral uniformity that is prescribed by the originators of McDonald’s and codified in the 360 pages of its standardized Operations Manual. Those responsible for carrying out the ritual have been trained at the McDonald’s analogue of a seminary, known as Hamburger University, in Elk Grove, Illinois.

          Ritual is also repetitive and stereotyped, of a limited range, adhering to a largely invariable sequence. Day after day, year after year, burgers are sold at McDonald’s with virtually the same catechism of requests and replies: “I’ll have a Big Mac.” “Will there be any fries with that?” “Thank you, have a nice day.” The transactions at McDonald’s express values esteemed by the modern North American society: technological efficiency, cleanliness, service, and egalitarianism. At a McDonald’s, people find exactly what they have come to expect. They know the liturgy, and what pecuniary dues they will have to pay; they have found the comfort, the security, and the reassurance there will be no surprises that are among the benefits of any ritual.

          • 5 Rain Jeys January 12, 2014 at 2:20 am

            I can see the wisdom in that.

          • 6 Miep January 12, 2014 at 2:20 am

            That’s good. My alienation from society stems largely from my disinterest in such rituals.

            Several years ago I was feeling starved for protein, and I went to a local Sonic and purchased a hamburger. It was horrible. I wound up feeding most of it to my dogs, who were pleased.

            I can remember upscale hamburgers in Los Angeles in the early 1980’s, that were to die for, although they were admittedly kind of lightly broiled ground steak.

            The Sonic was weird. There were all these passive-aggressive messages taped to the walls, basically reminding the staff to submit. I commented on these messages in a hostile manner, which was met in an appropriately appreciative manner, and tipped the hell out of them.

            I rarely eat out. It’s just too traumatic.

            • 7 bluenred January 12, 2014 at 2:50 am

              A number of months ago I was overwhelmed by a powerful desire for a hamburger. I purchased and consumed one at a (non-chain) place I remembered served pretty good such meat-offerings, back in the day when I semi-regularly consumed such American pies.

              It tasted pretty darn good. And, in eating, savoring, enjoying it, I remembered: yeah, that’s why we eat such things.

              About two hours later, I was in serious suffering. I thought I had fucking cholera. I feared I would actually expire, in a projectiled puddle of noxious fluids; the cats would eat the prime parts, and the EMTs would shovel into the bag the rest.

              Never again.

              So, what I did, is experimented, till I could produce, at home, my own burgers. That taste just as sweet. But do not make me cat-meat.

              • 8 Miep January 12, 2014 at 3:00 am

                I think what you do is get some good quality hamburger meat all in one piece, sear it lightly, then run it through a meatgrinder and add eggs, bread crumbs, spices, whatever, and then broil or grill it promptly.

                • 9 bluenred January 12, 2014 at 3:08 am

                  I get some burger meat and then mush it all up with a bunch of spices—sage, turmeric, cayenne, oregano, garlic, onion, etc., etc.—and then sear it fore and aft and then dump and press down more spices upon it and then sear it some more, till fully cooked, then plop it into a toasted wee onion bun slathered with true French dijon mustard and piled fairly high with fiery habanero cheese and then I eat it.

                  Then I go into a complete panic and strip off all my clothes to determine whether I have burger-bloated so much so that, like a true American male, I can no longer easily view my penis. ; 0

                  • 10 Miep January 12, 2014 at 3:16 am

                    Yeah, that sounds about right. The idea is to get the meat fresh and get it at 165°F for at least a bit. Mixing it around makes sense.

                    I bought a hand-crank meat grinder last year. Just in case everyone ran out of them. I shop like a spendthrift from the nineteenth century.

        • 11 Rain Jeys January 12, 2014 at 2:18 am

          “Like being ruled by McDonald’s, if McDonald’s had squirrels.” kind of made my day. 🙂

          • 12 bluenred January 12, 2014 at 2:31 am

            But of course, we now know, because Rush Limbaugh has told us, that, due to the demon-seed of ObamaCare, McDonald’s has savagely cut back the hours allowed to each employee, so as not to be forced to bestow upon these employees health care, and, to make up these hours, squirrels are now being employed, to frantically turn wheels, to keep the hideous grease a-bubbling, there in the french-fry vats.

            They are the new Slaves.

            • 13 Miep January 12, 2014 at 2:41 am

              Ha. I tried to tackle healthcare.gov last month, and wound up bogged down in New Mexico Medicaid, wherein they were asking me under penalty of perjury stuff like exactly what day I graduated from high school.

              I have no memory of this event, nor of ever possessing a diploma, though they did let me into college, so this must have occurred in some manner.

              Then I thought: “This is welfare. This is the kind of intrusive crap *everybody* who has to deal with our welfare system, gets dragged down by all the time, which is why so many USAians just hate being on welfare, work the best they can to get out of that horrible trap.”

              I have yet to work out whether one can shop for plans without giving out one’s entire genome sequence first to the Welfare people, in order to assure one’s rejection by them.

              • 14 bluenred January 12, 2014 at 2:59 am

                I wish I could help you with this. But I can’t. I pretty much do not exist to the various governments—local, state, federal—in this country. And I want to keep it that way. So I will not be entering that system. Though the benefits of it I can clearly see.

                Generally I do not direct people to the Great White. But there are compassionate folk there committed to twinning people with plans. Who would be of assistance. If you can’t otherwise draw their attention, know that even Great White banned folk, like you and I, can freely post to the Help Desk.

                • 15 Miep January 12, 2014 at 3:07 am

                  Not, to worry, and thanks for your interesting comment about being invisible. TheFatLadySings has posted about New Mexico health care, she’s a love.

                  I’m not without, I have some privilege. My shitty blue cross plan didn’t get canceled. I’m just supposed to explore this stuff, which I would readily if they didn’t ask all these intrusive questions. No help desk will change that.

                  That Blog is endlessly irritating, but at the same time there are still some excellent people posting there. I miss them, even though it was hopeless. I want to participate in their helping drives. It drives me crazy. I should just stop reading them.

                  • 16 bluenred January 12, 2014 at 3:22 am

                    To employ a current term I generally loathe, the Great White “is what it is.”

                    That is, it can be instructive, if one is focused solely on tracking, from a Dem perspective, the meth-crazed/intense underpants-ever-aroil 24/7 churnings of the GOoPers and the Dems, as they turn on the great wheel.

                    But as for writers? Nah.

                    Over the past thousand years or so, writers—most recently Robert Stone, in A Flag For Sunrise—have effectively evoked the image of a bleached skull, at the very bottom of the sea, with a gem nestled inside.

                    The gem is wasted there. As somebody like, say, Pluto, is, really, wasted, nestled in the submerged skull of the Great White.

                    • 17 Miep January 12, 2014 at 3:43 am

                      Pluto is fucking awesome. I’ve learned tons from her, and her lessons continue to reverberate.

                      There are other good writers there, but it’s difficult to write there and not
                      be influenced by the prevailing repressive vibe. After I got kicked off, my thinking expanded quite a bit.

                      Pluto plays a dangerous game there, but she’s very good at it and has learned how to do it without coming off as being threatening. Like a kind of hobby. But also there are lefty people there she keeps in touch with and cares about. And that matters.

                      Thanks for the late night hanging out, blueness. I was down about a communication failure elsewhere and this was a great help to keep me from brooding, not to mention excellent in and of itself. G’night, agape, Miep

            • 18 Rain Jeys January 13, 2014 at 8:20 pm

              Starbucks does this too, the hour-cutting so as not to provide benefits. Of course, if Starbucks replaced most of their employees with squirrels in little green barista aprons, then I’d be much more inclined to pay $4 for a small coffee.

  2. 21 Rain Jeys January 12, 2014 at 2:19 am

    March of the Mad! Mad Rulers, in fact. SO the microwavable pork rinds have been designated as a “being”?

    • 22 Miep January 12, 2014 at 2:22 am

      I’d been betting on the wrapped object being the fourth God, although I’d considered the bunch of flowers as well.

      • 23 bluenred January 12, 2014 at 2:43 am

        Yes, well, the flowers. They are actually of another universe. One that includes also the pumpkin head with the bat feet, and the “major award” leg-lamp. These, I believe, shall be dealt with, in a future post.

        The fourth god is without doubt the most scarifying. No one Sane or Human or even of a Life Form We Would Recognize would come up with something like a flat-pac allegedly containing pork rinds that would upbubble if placed in a microwave.

        I fear they are worse than Pandora’s Box. I fear that, if I were to microwave them, the result would be what we all, rightfully, fear of the super colliders: all of existence, would then be wiped away.

        This is why it is Good that I do not possess a microwave.

        For, in order to wipe away all existence, I will really have to want to do it.

        For I shall have to journey forth, to some other abode, to insert the flat-pac into the other-place hideous sizzling non-ordinary wave-micro.

        May I remain strong. And never pull such a trigger.

        • 24 Miep January 12, 2014 at 2:56 am

          I had this huge microwave, you could cook a small turkey in it. I left it out by the curb. I had to put a sign on it to explain that it worked. It still took a few days before someone retrieved it.

          Once my first boyfriend and I were shopping, and we were perusing food labels and discussing them. A woman came up behind us muttering about our blocking the aisle with all our “science stuff.”

          We have a local meat market here, a whole shop devoted to meat. The chickens are a lot less fat than the ones at the grocery store. I should buy one. I could roast it with parsnips and carrots and lemon and rosemary inside and bacon on top.

          I don’t eat a lot of pig though. They get a rough deal.

    • 25 bluenred January 12, 2014 at 2:38 am

      All, are beings. This you know. ; )


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