A Series Of Tubes

Matt Drudge is an illiterate dumbfuck. He remains a vital cog in the rightwing noise machine because his site caters to the worst slowing-to-gawk-at-a-car-wreck instincts of human beings, and is so simple and stripped-down it can be navigated by brain-damaged monkeys. Which pretty much super mario netdescribes his core audience. Drudge is a closeted gay man who likes to fuck all drippy and gooey with raw eggs; he is of that subset of gay men that fears and loathes women. Thus, when, as yesterday, he posts some uber-screeching five-alarm headline that damns someone as “The Most Hated Woman In America,” you can rest assured that, in Reality, she is no such thing. Probably, there’s nothing wrong with her at all.

Kathleen Sebelius. That is the woman yesterday scarlet-lettered by The Eggman as “The Most Hated Woman In America.”

This designation demonstrates only that Drudge is a baboon. For not only is Kathleen Sebelius not the most hated woman in America, most Americans don’t even know who she is.

Who she is, is the Secretary of Health and Human Services. And why she is, to nimrods like Drudge, “the most hated woman in America,” is because, as soon as the last notes of the endless debt-ceiling/government-shutdown nonsense receded, the organ-grinders immediately began wheezing and blatting the monkeys to St. Vitus Dance over “the rollout of Obamacare.”

There always has to be something. Some terminal Crisis and Doom. And this, now, is that.

I am not exactly sure of the full and complete nature of the propellor-beanie complaint. Because I refuse any more to minutely follow the day-to-day fight-or-flight phantasm of “politics.” What I have managed to grasp is that it has apparently been determined, by Drudge and his ilk, that Sebelius should be tied to a stake and set on fire because she heads up the agency implementing the ACA website, and said website “doesn’t work.”

No. Really? A website that “doesn’t work”? This, to me, is “shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on here” territory. For I wonder if any of these screamers have cited to any website that does work. Surely I have yet to find one. They’ve all got some thing or another wrong with shocked shockedthem. How could they not? They are created and maintained by human beings. Who are imperfect. And thus, everything that passes through their hands, is likewise imperfect.

The Drudge site itself “doesn’t work.” The Eggman commonly posts headlines with howling misspellings that would embarrass a third-grader. It is also often true that clicking on a link there will take the reader nowhere but back to the Drudge front-page. It is like an endless loop of fail. Over on StormKos, where the usual suspects are screaming till their lips bleed that the “doesn’t work” website proves the black man should be heaved in a trash can . . . well, that site too “doesn’t work,” when one attempts to utilize the search function, which became of the bungled and the botched several years ago. When I go to the power-company website, I find it completely impossible to simply access an accounting of my most recent bill. It’s like there must be some secret invisible Super Mario place, where I have to leap up and grab something that I cannot see, in order to be vouchsafed such information. And this site right here, lemme tell you, also “doesn’t work.”

While other folks were debating what type of wood should be used, in burning Sebelius at the stake, a Sane Person somehow spoke up:

California Democrat and committee sub-chair Henry Waxman told his colleagues to “stop hyperventilating” and focus on what is working and not what is not.

Waxman said, “The early glitches in this rollout will soon be forgotten,” and asked the committee to “keep this in perspective: The Affordable Care Act is working.”

Waxman stated that more than 100 million Americans have access to free preventive coverage and no longer face lifetime limits on their coverage.

“The worst abuses of the insurance industry will be halted,” he said. “Never again will individuals see their premiums shoot up because they got sick or faced an unforeseen medical issue.”

He stated that 60 percent of Americans will be able to get coverage for less than $100 per month.

And that’s what it’s really all about. The Eggman and his ilk don’t like the ACA because it might help someone who is not them.

So it’s simply got to go.

But we’re not supposed to listen to Waxman. Because he is a man not conventionally attractive, he was damned decades ago by the rightwing noise machine as “Nostrildamus”; we are required simply to giggle, whenever we hear his name.

Same as it ever was.

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11 Responses to “A Series Of Tubes”


  1. 1 Alexa November 3, 2013 at 12:37 am

    illiterate dumbfucks are not in short supply these days . . . maybe they’ve become the rule rather than the exception?

    • 2 bluenred November 3, 2013 at 7:15 am

      At least in what my father used to call “the Untied Snakes,” literacy and coherence are no longer particularly valued. On the right, yeehaws like Sean Klannity are deeply suspicious of “intellectuals,” beings he believes know how to spell and cogently argue a position only in the service of demonic liberalism. On the left, it is felt that if one’s heart(burn) is in the right place, it matters not whether the writer is capable of constructing a recognizable English sentence. Thus, over on StormKos, the worship of such chainsaw-massacring assassins of language as badabing and priceman.

      In Reality, power people, from all across the spectrum, have throughout history endeavored to keep people dumbed-down and muddy-minded. In service of this: illiteracy. That is why, for instance, the first folks to translate the bible out of Latin were set on fire; and why the Khmer Rouge shot in the head those who wore glasses, as it was assumed they used them to read.

  2. 3 Alexa November 3, 2013 at 8:14 pm

    worship of such chainsaw-massacring assassins of language

    this one time, i was pissed off because Martin Luther King, Jr. was used as appropriation by one of the Amateur Left. the context was one of why this blogger is not more popular? did others want an echo chamber? why did he get no respect?

    and THEN, mi abejo, this permanently prelarval (thank you) blogger made a comparison between the writings of Martin Luther King, Jr’s work that made some folks uncomfortable and his (the blogger’s) plight of unpopularity.

    at first i laughed, as anyone would laugh at such a grandiose fallacy. then it occurred to me that this particular blogger has no business appropriating Dr. King’s legacy for his own lamentations of being “hated.” so i called him on that, and the fact that sitting in the basement, eating Cheetos and wanking off do not constitute activism, and typing louder never changed anything.

    i have now been informed that i’m not literate, a “hater,” a loser at baseball in three innings (i know, wtf?) and there was great gnashing of teeth by DFH types whom i do not ever want to “be one” with (exact words) for many reasons. by then, it was a total laff riot to me, because i remember and am sure you remember that this sub-group (M. Girlz) has never had any racial awareness or tolreance, and truly not the faintest idea what i had said.

    • 4 bluenred November 3, 2013 at 8:59 pm

      Did you mebbe run into a passel of Mean Girlz in the sandbox of StormKos, a.k.a. Murderers’ Row?

      “Him’s me too” citations to MLK are favored by Deliverance-dopey pasty-faced white boys pounding the pud into a Cheetos stain, down there in the basement. It’s a variation on “I have a black friend.”

      Bet there were ejaculations about Cornel West and/or Tavis Smiley and/or Black Agenda Report, too.

      Same as it ever was “left” mirror-mirror of Sean Klannity or Runt Limprod going to Clarence Thomas, Allen West, Walter Williams.

      They can just bugger right off, dissin’ a fine hispanoila santeria hoochie like you.

  3. 6 Alexa November 4, 2013 at 12:20 pm

    Cornel West! however did you guess? i notice the same 2-Lame Crew has no respect for Time Wise, chauncey devega, or our Deo . . . only sticks and stones from the privileged.

    • 7 bluenred November 4, 2013 at 4:51 pm

      Cornel West has been the go-to “black friend,” for all those pud-pounders who actually have no black friends, for eons.

      Deo, Wise, and Chauncey do not interest the pud-pounders, because all three possess a functioning cerebral cortex, and because all three fail to leap to their feet, ready to stab and shoot, at the sound of the name “Obama.”

  4. 8 Rain Jeys November 4, 2013 at 7:32 pm

    I too am becoming rather burned out by minutely following the day-to-day fight-or-flight phantasm of “politics.” Aren’t I too young to be burned out by that already? Daily in my inbox I receive screaming exclamations of doom and horror and appeals for money. I delete these. I spend possibly an hour daily just signing petitions. I feel that to remove myself from these mailing lists would make me one of the disengaged uncaring masses. But it might make my inbox (and mind) clearer and more peaceful.

    • 9 bluenred November 5, 2013 at 9:11 am

      One is never too young to back-burner that shit. When I was younger than you, I spent three years on top of a mountain. Every morning I would read the Chronicle, which was then worth reading; it was like a dispatch from another world. Unfortunately, I then drifted into a rut where to earn my crust I had to look at politics every damn day for about 30 dern years.

      There will always be doom and horror in your inbox. But out in the actual physical world, things will, pretty often, seem pretty nice. And money can always go to people you actually physically encounter. Rather than to some collection of pixels.

      • 10 Rain Jeys December 7, 2013 at 1:39 am

        Outside my window, in the physical world, there is rain and a friendly blue jay who hops around the yard. And sometimes owls. I’d donate money to these things, but they don’t need it.

        • 11 bluenred December 8, 2013 at 1:41 am

          Money is of the bone-throwing of Kubrick’s ape-man, in the first transition in 2001. It is of the larval stage, of human beings. Like cities. And jobs. And governments. All that, it’s almost over, now.


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