Grounded

So Tuesday I awoke to the obnoxious sound of a passel of whiny-ass serial killers blubbering all over my radio.

First the serial killers of the United States Air Force screamed like a two-year-old that the sequester will result in the grounding of flying on the ground is rightone-third of its death planes—or, in sky-pilot death-speak, “seventeen combat-coded squadrons.”

“Historically, the Air Force has not operated under a tiered readiness construct,” droned serial killer General Mike Hostage, employing the sort of Orwellian language not used by any actual human being.

That one-third of the death-planes will sit idle is nothing but good news. What is required next is to ground the remaining two-thirds.

For the United States does not need an Air Force. This is because the only legitimate use for an air force is in support of ground troops—that is, an army. And the United States does not need an army. Because it is at peace with its neighbors, Canada and Mexico. Therefore, the United States Army shall be eliminated. And so shall the United States Air Force.

All of the planes shall be melted down and recast as steampunk jewlery. The pilots shall be extensively deprogrammed, and then turned over to the Shriners, to be retrained to pilot those funny little cars that drive figure-eights in parades.

It should be noted that the comments to the Air Force Times piece squealing about the sequester-grounding, they provide a fine illustration of the sort of suppurating racist go air forceignoramuses who support those death-sheets devoted to the nation’s serial killers.

Then it was the turn of the two-year-olds in the serial killing United States Navy to scream till they blew stinking loads into their watery diapers that the sequester will ground the Blue Angels—without doubt the most repulsive collection of domestic aerial death-craft extant.

For decades these de-evolved dunderheads have shattered the peace of the skies over nearly every city, town, and dirt-patch in the land, in deeply dumb ear-splitting displays that are supposed to prove . . . something.

Now, they shall shriek no more.

This is nothing but good news. As is the related fact that the weeping and moaning serial killers of the Navy claim that without these sky idjits, Navy knuckleheads shall also have to cancel such useless extravaganzas as “Fleet Week.”

Good. No one in the United States needs any “Fleet Week.” As no one needs the Blue Angels.

As the United States does not need a Navy. Since the US possesses a Coast Guard, perfectly capable of patrolling the waters of the continental United States (Alaska and Hawaii are imperial possessions, and should be permitted to break free, as should all overseas territories, possessions, protectorates, and the like), a Navy is not necessary. Too, the United States Marines needs to be folded back into the anchors aweighNavy, from whence they sprang; they are support troops for ships, that’s all they are. So: down the loo, they go, too.

Thus, no more Navy. No more Marines.

The ships and planes of the Navy shall be pulverized and then reformed into little trinkets to be placed in Cracker Jack boxes. Navy personnel shall be extensively deprogrammed, and then assigned to helm those cute little boats in the Disneyland Jungle Cruise. Those that can’t handle that task—and there will be many—can be put to work scrubbing floors.

The ex-Marines, they can shovel shit in zoos.

As has been observed here before, that portion of the sequester that effects the serial killers of the United States Armed Forces is an unexpected glorious godsend, one that should be daily, duly embraced by any actual real true anti-war person. The goal next is to secure the permanence of any and all cuts, and to pursue further cuts, until the Already Happened is reached: an annual US military budget of $0.

However, as has also previously been here observed, there do not seem at present to be any actual real true anti-war people in the United States.

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1 Response to “Grounded”


  1. 1 bluenred April 12, 2013 at 4:18 pm

    Ever’body is, as ever, too a-feared, to leave a first comment on this one.

    So, as ever, I will.


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