Legend Of A Mind

It is Known that Rick Perry is a farm animal, the result of a failed Dr. Moreau-type experiment that sought to cross a man with a steer.

It is further Known that this experiment was pursued by extraterrestrial beings, who have bred and/or assembled all the 2012 GOoPer candidates for the presidency; it apparently satisfies their alien sense of humor, this mucking about with the American political system.

Today, more is Known. And that is that a supermassive black hole is present in the Perry head.

Heretofore the smallest black hole was believed to operate in the constellation Scorpius. However, when Science Men directed the Rossi X-Ray Timing Explorer at the Perry cabeza, they detected a signature “heartbeat” that confirms that a black hole indeed dwells within his cranium.

It is Known that mini-black holes can be no larger than an atom; these “may be passing through the Earth on a daily basis, and pose a very minimal threat to the planet.” The Perry black hole, Science Men say, is a little larger than that, and indeed poses a threat, because it has taken up permanent residence in Perry’s brain, where it threatens the planet by rendering Perry, who is seeking the presidency, incapable of rational thought.

For whenever Perry forms a thought, it is immediately sucked into the black hole, where it disappears, never to return.

Since not even light can escape a black hole, there is no hope at all for any nascent notion sparked in the sparse brain folds of this failed farm animal.

That a supermassive mini-black hole is continuously sucking away the emanations of his brain explains why, to give the most recent example, Perry’s attempt to note the passing of North Korean goofball Kim Jong-Il found him releasing a statement in which he thrice referenced “Kim Jong II.” The hole relentlessly ripped away every attempt of the Perry mind to perceive “Il” as consisting of an “I” and an “l,” rendering him wholly unable to perceive anything but the Roman numeral “II.”

It is Good to Understand these things.

Word whispered about in the Science Man community is that as soon as the Perry candidacy officially crashes and burns, he will be quietly spirited away to a Lab, where he will be Studied, as to the effects of supermassive mini-black holes on the human—or, in his case, quasi-human—brain. In this way, he will serve Wo/mankind. Which he is not doing now.


18 Responses to “Legend Of A Mind”

  1. 1 possum December 20, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    It is good to have a resident Science Man to share the findings and explanations of the Repub conspiracy. Maybe the same black hole manages to suck other people’s attention toward Perry. That might explain why any so-called rational being would give him more than the time of day.

    • 2 bluenred December 21, 2011 at 6:07 am

      You may be on to something there. The black hole in the Perry brain may have a sympathetic relationship with back holes in the brains of other beings, which encourage those beings to believe that Perry is not only a Real human, but actually someone who should be president. It is hard to know for certain at present, without further Study. The Mysteries of Science, they are neverending.

      • 3 possum December 21, 2011 at 6:40 am

        It is good that science is neverending in its quest for knowledge. Every answer opens a door to many new and different questions. Sympathetic black holes surely deserve the righteous attention given to those superfast neutrinos of some days back. Who knows what may be found?

  2. 4 Julia Rain (the deviant daughter) April 18, 2013 at 7:10 pm

    I love that black holes have heartbeats. It made me have to go and write a poem.

    …it’s just too bad that one of them has to be in Rick Perry’s head.

    Also: why don’t the pictures have little captions when you hover your mouse over them anymore?

    • 5 mieprowan April 18, 2013 at 7:29 pm

      What bothers me about wordpress is that I can’t rate comments. Except I want the only possible rating to be something like “Yay!”

      Because it seems so silly to write a comment that just says “Yay!” And so lazy.

      They’re probably right, but old habits die hard.

    • 9 bluenred April 19, 2013 at 8:53 am

      You should publish this black-hole-heartbeat poem here. ; )

      I still give little titles to the photos. (Unless I forget.) I don’t know why they’re not showing up anymore with the magic mouse pass. Maybe I should whine to wordpress. : /

      • 10 Julia Rain (the deviant daughter) April 25, 2013 at 5:36 pm

        Hmm. I don’t know why the name aren’t showing up either, then.

        Here is my poem. The line about black hole heartbeats is at the end. I wish it were better. Make sure to read my artist comment section. 🙂


        • 11 bluenred April 25, 2013 at 6:43 pm

          Why would you wish it better? It’s superb. ; )

          I have to admit I stopped reading the comment, but only because I wanted the poem to stand on its own, in mystery. : ) Though it’s good to learn that David is going to solve that riddle.

          • 12 Julia Rain (the deviant daughter) April 25, 2013 at 9:01 pm

            Thank you so much! I’m happy you think so.

            Oh, I just thought that the idea of a black hole heartbeat is rather more poetic on its face than the way I incorporated it into the poem. I just need to tweak the wording a bit, when it comes to me. Poems are kind of a process for me.

            Yes, that’s right, you believe in poetic mystery. I just like sharing profound poetic Science facts. ‘Cause they’re pretty. 🙂

            I told him you said that and he shrugged and said “Everyone needs a hobby.” I am fairly impressed, myself, however. Next I want him to figure out time travel, immortality, and the existence of faeries. He says those are harder.

            • 13 bluenred April 26, 2013 at 11:08 am

              He’s young. He has plenty of time to figure out time travel, immortality, and fairies, once he’s done with the unified field thing.

              The poem is really exceptional. You should have Acknowledgement and Money.

              • 14 Julia Rain (the deviant daughter) May 7, 2013 at 4:10 pm

                This is true.

                I’m glad you think so. 🙂 Thank you.

                • 15 bluenred May 7, 2013 at 6:15 pm

                  So, have you received Acknowledgement and Money?

                  If you have not, this constitutes a Crime, and should be reported. : /

                  • 16 Julia Rain (the deviant daughter) May 7, 2013 at 6:27 pm

                    I have received some acknowledgment, in the form of comments, favorites and features on deviantart. I have yet to receive money, but poetry is notorious for never producing money. I am patient.

                  • 18 Julia Rain (the deviant daughter) May 9, 2013 at 5:56 pm

                    Sounds like a good mantra. 🙂

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When I Worked

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