The Lions Sleep Tonight

The planet continues to produce non-ordinary personages.

We regard here Al-Sayed al-Essawy, a 24-year-old Egyptian man who claims title to “strongest man in the world.”

In June of this year, this man resolved to engage in a “steel-cage fight” with a lion.

After twenty minutes, there in the cage with the lion, al-Essawy declared “victory.” During the “combat,” the lion did not attempt to attack the strongman; no one was harmed.

Below, find some of al-Essawy’s wisdom, uttered pre-fight.

The lion, naturally, does not speak.

God made me, and he made the lion, and he put us both on the same planet, which means the lion is fair game. Ethically, there should be no problem.

I have a whole series of shows planned in my head. I will pull an airplane with my teeth, and I will pull an airplane with my hair. I will also be run over by an airplane.

In between each of these acts, there will be lion battles.

I’ve taught children how to chew glass and pull cars with their teeth. I can raise a generation of supersoldiers. I’ve jumped from ten-story buildings and I’ve hanged myself many times.

I think it’s time we start celebrating genuine talent.


11 Responses to “The Lions Sleep Tonight”

  1. 1 possum September 27, 2011 at 4:14 am

    Darned smart lion. Why attack when not hungry and not provoked?

  2. 5 possum September 27, 2011 at 10:06 am

    Only in the southern part of the state (the red end). There is a radio announcer down there who is the most racist and bigoted individual on the planet. People listen and teach their children all sorts of bizarre nonsense. Car pulling is an annual contest.

    • 6 bluenred September 27, 2011 at 10:11 am

      Are you serious? People in the darn-diggy portion of the state pull cars with their TEETH?

      I was down there once. There was a swamp. It was scary.

      • 7 possum September 27, 2011 at 11:03 am

        Not really. They do all sorts of interesting stuff, but cars is a bit of exaggeration. Fits the mentality but not the reality. Scary place to be if you are a normal human being.

  3. 8 soothsayer September 27, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    Well, He is No Jack Lalane

    Not yet anyway….: )

    • 9 bluenred September 27, 2011 at 2:50 pm

      You’re right. Jack would scoff at pulling a mere airplane with his teeth. When Jack routinely hauled around 70 boats, with his molars.

      Jack used to be on my TV. I don’t recall him ever instructing me to chew glass, like this Egyptian fellow.

  4. 11 mieprowan July 20, 2012 at 7:02 pm

    I remember reading somewhere that a hungry caged lion is a safe lion, because he is looking to do what is required in order to get fed. Once the caged lion is fed, humans become an annoyance to be swatted away, or played with.

    We’ll also note that well-fed housecats can be excellent mousers.

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When I Worked

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