These Rules Were Made For Walking

Government nincompoops are attempting to separate a depressed Oklahoma woman and her disabled, brain-damaged kangaroo, because keeping a kangaroo at a home inside the city limits of Broken Arrow is apparently Against The Rules.

Christie Carr was a severely depressed woman when her therapist recommended that, as part of her treatment, she volunteer at a local animal sanctuary. There Carr met Irwin, a baby giant red kangaroo.

Less than a week after Carr began volunteering, Irwin ran into a fence, fracturing his neck, and suffering serious brain damage. Carr offered to take Irwin home, and there care for him as he recovered. This she did. The two developed a bond. And so Irwin was certified by Carr’s therapist as a therapy pet under the Americans With Disabilities Act.

Today, a year after the animal’s accident, Carr daily dresses the kangaroo in “a little boy’s shirt cut and sewed to accommodate his neck, sometimes a tie, and jeans or slacks with a hole cut for the tail—[] necessary for therapeutic reasons and to protect him against germs, Carr said.” She changes the guy’s diapers several times day, and feeds him salad, raw veggies, kangaroo chow, popcorn, and sometimes Cheetos. He rides in a car seat; Carr also carries him around on her body, inside a pouch.

Anyone who thinks that this sounds a but much, should reflect some on what people do with their dogs.

Irwin weighs 25 pounds, and cannot stand or walk without assistance. Your usual giant red kangaroo can grow to seven feet, weigh 200 pounds, and cover 25 feet in a single bound. Irwin is never going to get there. His vet, Dr. Lesleigh Cash Warren, has told the Broken Arrow City Council that Irwin will not weigh more than 50 pounds, that “[h]e is a unique animal due to his disabilities and will require a lifetime of care and concern for his welfare.”

And yet, for reasons that passeth understanding, howling imbeciles in the city government would stubbornly hew to The Rules, and thus heave Irwin right out of Carr’s life.

Now, if Carr was some mumbling hoodlum, raising a thuggish gang of surly seven-foot-tall kangaroos, creatures taught to leap over her fence and go out onto the streets to wantonly Beat and Rob, that would be one thing. But she’s not. Irwin can’t even stand, much less walk.

The council is scheduled to meet April 19. At which time it will either Do The Right Thing, or Live In Infamy.


5 Responses to “These Rules Were Made For Walking”

  1. 1 Julia Rain (the daughter) April 7, 2011 at 11:41 pm

    The kangaroo looks so sweet. This makes me very sad. Can’t some disability rights people get involved, since the city’s prohibition is violating the ADA?

    • 2 bluenred April 8, 2011 at 12:16 am

      I imagine that since this nonsense has received so much publicity—I read about it in the LA Times—that these people will harrumph and bloviate for a while, and then carve out some exception allowing Irwin to stay, while assigning a monitor to go over there periodically to make sure that Irwin hasn’t transformed into a menacing giant preparing to ravage the neighborhood. There are going to be frail old people wheeled in to this meeting from the nursing home where Irwin visits—there are still few politicians in this country willing to be seen on TV as opposing the will of a bunch of weeping and jabbering old people.

      If the council does deprive Carr of Irwin, then I think some mumbling hoodlum should train a gang of mammoth seven-foot kangaroos, to chase the councilmembers all down the street and into their houses, wreaking havoc until they Repent.

  2. 3 Elva April 12, 2011 at 3:18 pm

    I hope you will follow up on this story and post it on your blog.
    City Council members sometimes can not see their hand in front of their face. They can not understand our love for our animals.

    • 4 bluenred April 20, 2011 at 11:41 pm

      Okay, here’s the Latest Outrage.

      The council decided Carr has to take out a $50,000 insurance policy, and “can’t take her roo out in public unless it’s in a cage or restraints.” The council-people also cried that someone in Australia had said that dressing Irwin in human clothes was Weird and Wrong.

      Carr responded: “If I could afford to throw away money like that, I could afford to move out of town.”

      The council is set to adopt this nonsense as final on May 3. If they actually do that then, I will write a full-length screed.

  3. 5 Jodeeeeeee August 3, 2012 at 11:30 am

    Bluenred, you rock. I would say more — indeed, pen a screed — but let’s just leave it at that!

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