Son Of A Bitch Speaks

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Yes We Klan

Americans The Beautiful

What It Means To Be Part Of The Human Race

To Donald Trump

I believe in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of this country even though at the time they were drafted, their tenets of life, liberty justice for all and eventual freedom of speech, religion, assembly, press and petition amendment ratified in Dec 1791, only applied to a select group of people and not ones that looked like me.

Donald Trump, I listened to your Alabama rally rant and could not believe how easily you say what you say.

We have become numb to your outlandish acts, tweets and recent retweet of you knocking down Hillary Clinton with a golf ball that you hit.

Donald Trump, your boorish and disgusting actions are not funny. They actually promote violence against women especially when your followers act out what you say.

I used to walk the grounds of UVA in Charlottesville, VA as a graduate student only to watch in horror as those Unknown-3same grounds became a battlefield being trod by Nazi and anti-Semitic worshippers armed with assault style weapons ready to fight to make America White again. (their words). You actually said there were nice people on both sides. People armed and ready to kill other Americans for the purpose of eradicating Blacks, Jews, Hispanics, Mexicans, Asians, Latinas and even the first real Americans, Native Americans to make America Great Again were “nice people”?

Comparing this to what you say in condemnation of an unarmed black man peacefully protesting by exercising his constitutional First Amendment rights by silently taking a knee is appalling, unnerving and reprehensible.

Today, you called Colin Kaepernick “a son-of-a-bitch.”

You said he should be fired.

You are calling his white mother a bitch.

The strong contrast in language for a black man and a Nazi is very telling. Do you have any sense of decency or shame in what you say to the American people that are part of your duty to serve respectfully with dignity, presidentially?

Our National Anthem has been edited to try not to offend, because when Francis Scott Key penned the song he watched freed slaves fighting for the British and wrote this stanza:

“And where is that band who so vauntingly swore,
That the havoc of war and the battle’s confusion
A home and a Country should leave us no more?
Their blood has wash’d out their foul footstep’s pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave,
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.”

I guess if I were a slave back then I probably would have done anything to obtain freedom from my American oppressors who were whipping, killing, raping, dismembering, hanging or releasing the dogs on people like me all under our Constitution.

In 1814 former slaves fought with the British for their freedom from their American enslavers.

Key witnessed a battle from a ship off the Marylandlelandnasa shore at Fort McHenry, which inspired him to write what became our National Anthem.

I served my country not in the military, but as 1 of 362 American Astronauts that have explored the universe to help advance our civilization. Not just Americans, but all humans. I also was briefly in the NFL and stood for the National Anthem with my hand over my heart. What makes us great is our differences and respecting that we are all created equally even if not always treated that way.

Looking back at our planet from space really helps one get a bigger perspective on how petty and divisive we can be. Donald Trump, maybe you should ask your good friend Mr. Putin to give you a ride on a Soyuz rocket to our International Space Station and see what it’s like to work together with people we used to fight against, where your life depends on it. See the world and get a greater sense of what it means to be part of the human race, we call it the Orbital Perspective.

Donald Trump, please know that you are supposed to be a unifier and a compassionate and empathetic leader. If you can’t do the job then please step down and let someone else try. I pray that you do the right thing.

May God bless you.

Sincerely,

Leland Melvin
Former Astronaut and NFL Player

How I Became Mutant

Science Men have determined that all the humans with blue eyes descend from a single individual who went mutant sometime around 6000 years ago.

“Originally, we all had brown eyes,” says Science Unknown-1Man Hans Eiberg, referencing the numbingly boring and stultifyingly sterile eons before the advent of blueness. “This is what is meant by, ‘and the earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep.'”

But then there in Europe a woman mutated her OCA2 gene, putting the brakes on the melanin flowing into her eyes. Only some of the melanins did she allow to seep into her eyes, rather than all of them. And thus were made her brown eyes, blue.

The woman’s name was Crystal Blue Persuasion, and she passed on her mutation to her children, of which today there are approximately 300 million.

“The question really is,” asks Science Man John Hawks, “‘Why did we go from having nobody on Earth with blue eyes 10,000 years ago, to having 20 or 40 percent of Europeans having blue eyes now?'” And he answers: “This gene does something good for people. It makes them have more kids.”

Say what? Somehow Hawks, nor any other Science Man, then did explain just how it is that blue eyes cause the humans to go fruitful, and multiply.

You Wanted It Darker

Leonard Cohen would have been 83 today, except he died last year, on November 7, the day before the 3125F-one-more-thing-s_72_c3wAmericans went to the polls, Cohen vacating the corporeal container because he did not want to live in a world of Mongo.

Cohen had foreseen Mongo: that is why the title of his last album was You Want It Darker. The Americans did; Cohen didn’t. So, he moved on.

“You aren’t going to like what comes after America,” Cohen also said, referencing those portions of the planet, including the United States, descending, de-evolving, into Mongoism.

But although he is gone, before he left, Cohen shared The Answer, to The Mysteries. Revealed, there, below.

Baboon Addresses United Nations

As the humans continue to evolve, they are increasingly recognizing the rights of creatures other than themselves.

Thus, a New York judge recently granted a writ of habeas corpus to two chimpanzees seeking to free themselves from medical experiments at some torture facility on Long Island.

Similarly, and also in New York, the United Nations this week bobopermitted a baboon to address those delegates assembled.

The baboon displayed many aggressive behaviors—screeching, yawning, showing his teeth—but was prevented by main force from grabbing and biting the female delegates, as baboons are wont to do.

The baboon identified himself as Mongo, Supreme Leader of the United States, and the general consensus was that the animal is rabid. In his address, the baboon shrieked that he would “totally destroy” a nation of 25 million people, North Korea, and also threatened to go ape in the nations of Cuba, Venezuela, and Iran. He ceaselessly thumped his chest about his “biglys,” and keened endlessly about “nationalism,” “sovereignty,” and other concepts embraced only by those with shoe-sized IQs. He quoted from some baboon book about how “if the righteous many do not confront the wicked few, then evil will triumph.” He screamed that all the mud people must stay away from the shores of his baboonery, so as not to soil the whiteness of his United States.

At one point the baboon said: “The government masks a corrupt dictatorship behind the false guise of a democracy. It has turned a wealthy country with a rich history and culture into an economically depleted rogue state whose chief exports are violence, bloodshed and chaos. The longest-suffering victims of its leaders are, in fact, its own people.”

Goodness, those assembled murmured. He’s talking about himself, and his own country.

Then all those assembled commenced singing “Whiskey River Take My Mind” at top volume, so they would not have to hear any more badness. The baboon continued to screech, into the helpless void.


When I Worked

September 2017
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