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Friday News Dump

—Yesterday on the Sean Klannity radio show I heard the second generation of the insane Paul clan indicate that not only is he running for president in 2016, but he would like his three nutso teabagger mates—fellow Cro-Magnon senators Mike Lee, Ted Cruz, and Marco Rubio, all of whom are also planning to run for president—to get out of the race immediately and endorse him. They are all loons, and seem fated to crash and burn together. People in other countries, and on other planets, are averting their eyes. It is just Too Much.

—Some Chinese mathematician has had a new and intriguing brainshower about prime numbers. People are grumpy about this, not least because he is over 50, and is therefore supposedly “too old” to discover anything important.

—The I-5 bridge that collapsed in Washington when the semi barrelled into it had been classified “fracture critical,” which means the entire structure could be brought down if even one major part failed. There are a lot of bridges like that—like, 18,000—around the country. It would be nice if the Americans would invest money in fixing such things. Would mean a lot of jobs: give the serial killers something constructive to do. But, I suppose not.

—In Los Altos, California, a woman was crabby that her estranged husband had a new girlfriend. So, she “went to the couple’s Redwood City construction business, dressed in a mechanics jumpsuit with bubble wrap underneath. She approached her husband while he sat at a computer, discharged a stun gun into his side, and stabbed him several times in the neck and chest.” He lived; she is on trial. I guess these things happen.

—News is belatedly filtering out of the Mayberrys about the 5.7 earthquake that rocked and rolled mountainous northeastern California last night:

Susan Shephard and her husband Alan Shephard, who run the Quail Lodge at Lake Almanor near Greenville very close to the epicenter, said they were watching The Hunger Games on TV when the whole building started shaking.

“All of a sudden things started falling off the shelves, mirrors fell off the wall, vases fell down to the floor, everything started crashing,” Shephard told the Redding Record-Searchlight. “It felt like the end of our world.”

Apparently crashing dishes and the like was the extent of the mayhem. No reports of deaths or injuries.

It shook the Manor pretty good, that quake. The cats held me responsible. So. Not only are they convinced that I control the weather, but now the earth rumbling and buckling is somehow within my purview.

The last time I felt a quake this seriously was in Stinson Beach, in what turned out to be a pre-shock to that 1989 shake-up that collapsed San Francisco. May this, not be that. Hard to know, though. Because there has not been much study of the faults that run through the mountains up here. That is because there are no rich people around. And, as is well-known, if it won’t affect rich people, it Doesn’t Matter.

—In that strange speech yesterday, President Obama told Congress to repeal the AUMF. Duh. The original sin from which all the War on Terra hath flowed. I used to grouse about that over on StormKos, but nobody wanted to hear about it. Someday the Americans will erect a statue to Barbara Lee, the only person to vote against it. Someday.

—Poor Richard III. Born into a non-ordinary body, his reign brief and tumultuous, whacked to shit in a field by an upstart Tudor. Then, 100 years later, with Tudors still running the Brit-throne show, Shakespeare dutifully transformed Richard into one of the most despicable villains in all Christendom. Nobody knew where the guy’s body lay more than 400 years, until it was unearthed a while back in some parking lot. They dug it up and ran it through a bunch of Science Man tests, and now various moneygrubbers are arguing over where best to reinter it. You see, it is expected that wherever it goes, people will come see it, and, therefore, whoever controls it, will Get Money. The family has now come roaring out to complain that the moneygrubbers should bugger right off, as their behavior is violating the European Convention on Human Rights. Because the guy has the right to have his remains lie in peace. Even if he’s been dead 400 years, and was, or so sayeth Shakespeare, a Meanie.

Money Honey

Published May 22, 2013 Capital Crime , Cineman , Eros , Outer Limits , War On Terra Leave a Comment

This is one of those stories that is hilarious, in a projectile-vomit sort of way.

Apparently the nation’s banks have decided they are “too moral” to handle money earned by people involved in the adult entertainment business.

Chanel Preston knows not everyone approves of her chosen profession. That’s one of the risks that go with being one of the biggest stars in porn. But she never thought it would affect her ability to open a bank account.

Preston recently opened a business account with City National Bank in Los Angeles. When she went to deposit checks into the account days later, however, she was told it had been shut down, due to “compliance issues.”

She found the manager she had originally worked with and asked what had happened. The bank, she was told, was worried about the Webcam shows she had on her site and had revoked the account . . . .

Preston noted she [also] has been denied a loan because of her profession[.]

“[The loan officer] asked me ‘are you affiliated with the adult entertainment industry?’ When I said yes, she said ‘We will not give you a loan,’” she said.

At least one adult-entertainment figure has had enough of this bollocks, and is taking to the courts.

Earlier this week, Marc Greenberg, founder of the soft porn studio MRG Entertainment, filed suit against JPMorgan Chase in Los Angeles Superior Court, alleging the bank violated fair lending laws and its own policy for refusing to underwrite a loan for “moral reasons”.

Greenberg says he was approached by a representative of the bank about refinancing an existing loan. But once he started the process, he says he saw repeated delays for four months. That’s when he said he reached out to a JPMorgan vice president for an explanation.

The vice president “was evasive in his response to plaintiff’s application status requests and finally informed plaintiff during a telephone conversation that plaintiff’s loan application was refused due to ‘moral reasons,’ because of JPMorgan’s disapproval of plaintiff’s former source of income and occupation as an owner of a television production company that produced television programs that dealt with the subject of human sexuality,” the complaint reads.

Greenberg’s attorneys claim they were told by the vice president that the application was denied because of the potential “reputational risk” to the firm.

Curiously, JPMorgan Chase, back when it was known simply as Chase, perceived no “moral reasons” or “reputational risk” that might prevent it from fondling money employed in Nazi Germany to kill and rob Jews.

Between 1936 and 1941, Chase and other US banks helped the Germans raise over $20 million in dollar exchange, netting over $1.2 million in commission—of which Chase pocketed a cool $500,000. That was a lot of money at the time. The fact that the German marks used to fund the operation came from Jews who had fled Nazi Germany didn’t seem to bother Chase—in fact they upped their business after Kristallnacht (the night Jews throughout Nazi Germany and Austria were systematically attacked by mobs in 1938). Chase also froze the accounts of French Jews in occupied France before the Nazis had even gotten around to asking them to.

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Reality Theatre

Published May 9, 2013 Africa , Capital Crime , Destry , Eternal Recurrence , Israel/Palestine , Rutting For Office , War On Terra 5 Comments

This week we were asked to endure the dog and pony show in a clown car known as “Benghazi.”

“Benghazi” is single-word shorthand for the most recent of innumerable attempts by members of the Confederate States of America to once and for all Get the black man, the black man who has committed the unpardonable sin of occupying the White House.

Though this week’s was hardly the first “Benghazi” “hearing.”

Oh no. These things recur cyclically. Like locusts. Or lice. Or scabies.

My favorite so far was the “Benghazi hearing” where Congressional members of the Confederate States of America, so avid to Get the black man, unthinkingly babbled and blurted, publicly, the classified information that the so-called Benghazi “US consulate” was in fact a CIA spy-nest.

During a recess, some Sane person advised them of their boneheadedness. They then came back to announce the hearing was adjourned, and that everyone should just forget all about it.

“Benghazi” refers to a September 11, 2012 assault on a CIA spy-nest in the Libyan city of Benghazi, wherein Bad Brown People succeeded in killing the US Ambassador to Libya, Christopher Stevens, an information officer, and two mercenaries contracted to the CIA.

From the get-go, members of the Confederate States of America wedded themselves, till death do they part, to a Reality in which the black man bubbled up some popcorn, and then sat there in the White House Situation Room, and laughed and laughed, as he watched, in real-time, four Americans die in Libya.

More recently, members of the Confederate States of America have hitched themselves to a second Reality. In this one, the lazy, shiftless, shuffling, bumbling black man went off to bed without knowing or caring one whit what was going on in Benghazi—downing a couple 40-ouncers, and then hitting the sack, so he could get up early to go waste the (white) taxpayers’ money by playing golf or basketball.

On Wednesday of this week I heard the towering ignoramus Sean Klannity advance both these Realities as if they were both equally and at the same time true.

For, in their hatred of the black man, members of the Confederate States of America have gone quantum.

You see, in quantum physics, it is possible, say, for something to be both a wave and a particle, simultaneously; for an object to remain whole, but also, simultaneously, split to pass through two separate doors; for a cat in a box to be both, and at the same time, dead and alive.

So too, in the quantum Realities occupied by the people of the Confederate States of America, it is possible for the black man to both eat popcorn and laugh as he watches Americans die, and also, simultaneously, sleep through the whole thing.

Clearly, people who think in this way, are not really using their brains. Their brains are instead locked away in some deep shelter. To which they have no access.

It would be nice to conclude that it is only rightwhacks who suffer in this way.

But no.

For shortly before I tuned into Klannity, to monitor his latest arrow-through-the-head take on this and that, I had spent some time with a brain-in-deep-shelter nimrod who spins a propellor upon his beanie over there on the left.

Yes. I had paid one of my periodic visits to the twilight zone of Tony Cartalucci.

Cartalucci is an alleged “lefty” freelance froot loop who places pieces in the various turds that Alex Jones floats in the punch bowl of the intertubes, on the flaccid Iranian government organ Press TV, and with something called Liberty Roundtable, which foams at every orifice that “Masonic Jewish financiers” are “advancing a totalitarian ‘New World Order’,” with Jews as “foot soldiers and cannon fodder in a diabolical multi-generational plot to destroy Christian Civilization.”

Yeehaw.

When not sticking a hatpin through his frontal lobe at these other sites, Cartalucci also dribbles and drabbles in his own digs, a place known to me as minddestroyer.

During the 20 minutes or so I most recently spent surfing the Cartalucci minddestroying sewage, I learned that:

—The Russian puck band Pussy Riot—with several members currently in jail for offending Vladimir Putin and the Russian Orthodox Church—consists of nothing but “bigots and hooligans,” in willing service to “Wall Street and London.”

—Aung San Suu Kyi is a slavering murderer, jefe of a crazed cabal of “genocidal bigots” in monks’ clothing, a willing cat’s-paw of “Wall Street & London,” and guilty of “sedition.”

—Global climate change is a total hoax, perpetrated by “banksters and oilmen.”

—The Boston Marathon bombing was a “US/Saudi/Israeli” false-flag operation. At the same time, the two Tsarnev brothers—including 19-year-old Zhokhar Tsarnev—are “longtime CIA double agents,” who somehow suddenly and unaccountably ran amok. (Note that it is possible for the minddestroyers to believe that the bombing was both a US/Saudi/Israeli false-flag operation, and the work of deep-cover Western spooks who went rogue . . . in the same way that the rightwhacks believe the black man both ate popcorn and laughed while Americans died in Benghazi, and also was asleep and knew nothing about it. Quantum.)

—The Muslim Brotherhood is owned and controlled by Israel.

—The Chechen national resistance movement, which has been around for 600 years or so, was created by the CIA.

In this last nuttery, there is at least some Hope. For if the CIA did indeed found a movement that came into being some 550 years before the CIA itself was created, this means the agency must have secured the secret of time travel.

And since the CIA can never really keep anything secret for long, this means the rest of us will soon be able to be out and about time-traveling too.

And so we can then go into the future. To a time when people, left and right, do not keep their brains locked away in deep shelters. But instead actually use them.

Soon be the day.

Heave Ho

Published May 5, 2013 Capital Crime , War On Terra 8 Comments

I have not watched what they put on the television for more than 25 years.

As I’ve said here before, when they started using Beethoven’s “Ode To Joy” to push dishwashing detergent, that was it for me.

Cable TV, that I abandoned some years before. Of the broadcast variety, it is true that, from time to time, tee vee over that quarter-century or so, I might now and again tune in the news, national or local. But even that ended, for good, in 2009, when they switched nationwide to digital. My television set—so old it was actually made in the United States—didn’t know from digital. And I didn’t feel like going to Radio Shack for one of those little converter boxes . . . that are anyway no doubt malevolent spy devices.

I do, these days, have a television set that is digital-compatible. But no television comes over it. It is for movies and such, that flow from the intertubes.

I spend enough time chained to the tubes. I don’t need to double my servitude by hooking up with the television programmers.

However, the other day, I did look at a television.

I was in a pizza parlor.

Apparently there has been enacted some Law that requires that pizza parlors be festooned with multiple wall-mounted televisions, all tuned to sports channels.

The sound on these televisions is muted. Presumably because the blaring babeling din from the multiple programming on the multiple sets might induce nervousness and disorientation among the humans. And this would not be wise.

Because too many of them carry guns.

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Food Flight

Published April 28, 2013 Eternal Recurrence , War On Terra 2 Comments

The chickenshitness of Adolf Hitler is well-established. The very last act of his life—blowing his brains out—defined the essential chickenshitness of his existence: he was too much of a two-year-old to stomach the prospect of a world where he was not, as my brother would have put it, “King Shit.”

Still, I felt a new level of disgust for the pure chickenshitness of the fellow upon learning last night that he directed that 15 young women be required to first consume his food, in case somebody had dumped some nasty poisons into the stuff.

I don’t care who you are, if you believe that someone might be lacing your meals with toxins, you’re doing something pretty damn wrong. And you need to stop it. Probably you should retire to a monastery. And if They manage to poison you in there: well, then you gotta figure God wanted it.

But to sentence young women to the convulsions and death meant for you—what a complete and utter chickenshit.

Why not some of those fine strapping young wunderkind Aryan men? Should not oodles of these oddbodies been fervently willing to give of their palates to Mr. Moustache?

But no. It had to be young women.

What an utter fucking shmaltsik shmutsik shmo. A shandeh un a charpeh. A feier zol im trefen.

Serial Killers Continue To Cry

Published April 27, 2013 Afghanistan/Pakistan , Africa , Asia , Capital Crime , Destry , Eternal Recurrence , Rutting For Office , War On Terra 2 Comments

The nation’s serial killers continue to weep openly because they are no longer permitted access to the entirety of the federal treasury.

The latest disgusting display occurred Tuesday, when John McHugh, Secretary of the Army division of the American death industry, kicked his high chair and threw his rattle during testimony before the Senate Armed Services Committee, outraged that some 100,000 serial killers may have to be discharged from the army over the next decade.

Good.

Although 100,000 is but a start, it is at least that.

The goal, of course, is to reduce the number of the nation’s serial killers to zero.

McHugh blubbered that the Army already planned to reduce its ranks from a current 570,000 serial killers to 490,000 serial killers, due to legislation approved by Congress in 2011.

Now, he wept, the sequester will require kicking loose an additional 100,000 serial killers.

The sequester is an automatic spending-reduction program that the Republicans in Congress refuse to reconsider because the president is black.

As has been observed here before, true anti-war people would embrace the death-industry portion of the sequester as a wondrous and unexpected gift. And, from there, work so that the sequestered funds will never, ever, under any circumstances, be returned to the serial killers. Work until the Already Happened has been achieved: the nation’s serial-killer budget reduced to $0.

However, as has also been observed here before, there do not seem to be any real true anti-war people in the United States.

Certainly I have heard no hosannas sent forth in appreciation of the truly wonderful news that emerged on Friday: that in the first quarter of 2013, “[d]efense spending fell rapidly again, contracting by 11.5 percent as compared with the previous quarter’s 22.1 percent contraction.”

This is nothing but Good. Death-industry spending must decline until it contributes not a cent to the nation’s GDP. For no decent, civilized people would wish to make a single penny off of serial killers and all their worldkilling works.

The McHugh serial killer, though, that ain’t the way he sees it. He wept before Congress that “the budget cuts could threaten readiness levels on the Korean peninsula, where military forces remain on high alert after North Korea threatened to attack the United States and South Korea. Sequestration has forced the cancellation of a series of training exercises intended to help prepare soldiers for possible combat there, he said.”

Good. No sane human being wants American serial killers to be “prepare[d] for possible combat there.” Prepared for possible combat anywhere, but especially not in Korea. For United States serial killers have no business in that nation. They all need to come back to the US. To be discharged. So that they may pursue some truly useful employment. Like, say, manufacturing tinkertoys.

As has been observed here, many times, before, the Founders did not intend this country to maintain even a standing army. Which is why the Constitution specifically prohibits army appropriations of more than two years. And since the US is at peace with its neighbors, Canada and Mexico, it does not need an army. So the army should be eliminated. As the only legitimate use for an air force is in support of ground troops, it should be eliminated as well. The Marines need to be folded back into the Navy, from whence they sprang; they are support troops for ships, that’s all they are; that they are sent to fight in landlocked countries, like Afghanistan, is madness. So: down the loo, they go. Since the US already possesses a Coast Guard, perfectly capable of patrolling the waters of the continental United States (Alaska and Hawaii are imperial possessions, and should be permitted to break free, as should all overseas territories, possessions, protectorates, and the like), Americans can go ahead and get rid of the Navy, too—Marines and all. Make a clean sweep.

No more serial killers. No more death industry.

Unless, devotee of Thanatos, this—hoorah, anchors aweigh, wild blue yonder, semper fi—is what you do like:

Bushed

Published April 26, 2013 Capital Crime , Eternal Recurrence , Rutting For Office , War On Terra 3 Comments

They have built a library for George II.

Apparently the thought is that if they build a library for the guy, and name it after him, maybe he’ll go inside, pick up a book, and actually read it.

The last known book read by George II was The Pet Goat. A child helped him with it. This occurred as hijacked jetliners were ploughing into the World Trade Center.

The human brain is a strange and even terrifying thing. Almost any thought can get lodged in there.

Consider the brain of John Hinderaker. This is a person whose brain compelled him to write the following lines:

It must be very strange to be President Bush. A man of extraordinary vision and brilliance approaching to genius, he can’t get anyone to notice. He is like a great painter or musician who is ahead of his time, and who unveils one masterpiece after another to a reception that, when not bored, is hostile.

Yes. Surely. When the histories come to be written, George II will be regarded as something like the Gesualdo of geopolitics—”nobleman, lutenist, composer, and murderer.”

Errand Boy, Sent By Grocery Clerks, To Collect A Bill

Published April 25, 2013 Capital Crime , Eternal Recurrence , War On Terra Leave a Comment

Here on this blog, we have previously considered the question of Texas.

And determined that that state’s sole reason to be is to provide a place to contain the full allotment of sand allocated—back in the planet-creating days of Slartibartfast—to the North American continent.

Pace the sand, there is simply no reason for Texas to be.

And so, because there is No Reason, for Texas, other than sand, it is natural, these days, that when one considers an event out of Texas, the immediate reaction of any sentient homo sapien may quite probably be to reach out to grasp, as quickly as possible, the greatest possible gobs of opiates.

So as to Endure.

Because, without a mind soaked in opiates, there is simply no way to Understand, much less Accept, why Texas continues to Be.

Let us, for instance, regard the incredibly inbred yeehawed—and therefore quintessentially Texan—saga of the Marlow Brothers, back there in the Texas of 1888.

The full story is one that could only be properly presented by Sam Peckinpah . . . who is, alas, long dead.

And so here we must cut to the immediate for-these-purposes chase. Where Boone Marlow was poisoned by his sweetheart’s brother; his sweetie, unknown to her or to him, bringing to Boone the food that would kill him.

After Boone had expired, two bounty hunters—not among them his poisoner—pumped multiple gunshot rounds into his body.

So that they could collect the $1700 reward for his corpus.

Which they subsequently did.

However, when once federal authorities began belatedly beguining this typical Texas mischief, and tried to pin—quite rightly—the murderin’ deed on the original poisoner . . . well, said dude, who’d deliberately poisoned and killed Boone Marlow, claimed it weren’t him at all, that done killed Boone: the true dastardly murderin’ desperadoes were those who’d pumped the bullets into the corpse. And collected the re-ward.

Uh-huh.

I tell you this story, now, because the little slimy snotnose David Stockman, indisputably the chief rash run-amok economic asshole of the Reagan administration, is now, here, some 30-more years down the road, trying to claim, just like that Marlow-poisoner of 1888, that, he fer sure din’t do it, in this case din’t kilt the American economy—which he did—but it were instead them, who came after (Greenspan, Volker, Bush, Obama, etc.), who pumped the bullets into the already quiescent corpse, that really done kilt the guy.

Uh-huh.

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Drone Who Thou Wilt Is The Whole Of The Law

Published April 24, 2013 Afghanistan/Pakistan , Africa , Asia , Capital Crime , Destry , Eternal Recurrence , Johnny Law , Liberte Egalite Fraternite , War On Terra 9 Comments

And so now the United States has determined that it is Vital and Necessary to establish and enforce tight and binding international Rules for the use of drones.

President Barack Obama, who vastly expanded U.S. drone strikes against terrorism suspects overseas under the cloak of secrecy, is now openly seeking to influence global guidelines for their use as China and other countries pursue their own drone programs.

The United States was the first to use unmanned air-craft fitted with missiles to kill militant suspects in the years after the September 11, 2001, attacks on New York and Washington.

But other countries are catching up. China’s interest in unmanned aerial vehicles was displayed in November at an air show. According to state-run newspaper Global Times, China had considered conducting its first drone strike to kill a suspect in the 2011 murder of 13 Chinese sailors, but authorities decided they wanted the man alive so they could put him on trial.

“People say what’s going to happen when the Chinese and the Russians get this technology? The president is well aware of those concerns and wants to set the standard for the international community on these tools,” said Tommy Vietor, until earlier this month a White House spokesman.

As U.S. ground wars end—over in Iraq, drawing to a close in Afghanistan—surgical counterterrorism targeting has become “the new normal,” Vietor said.

Amid a debate within the U.S. government, it is not yet clear what new standards governing targeted killings and drone strikes the White House will develop for U.S. operations or propose for global rules of the road.

Obama’s new position is not without irony. The White House kept details of drone operations—which remain largely classified—out of public view for years when the U.S. monopoly was airtight.

This is typical. One need only consider very recent history. Such as when the United States enjoyed a monopoly, or near-monopoly, in nuclear weapons, at which time it felt no need to establish any nuke rules at all.

And, indeed, that nation’s premier serial killers—a.k.a. “generals”—wished, and fervently urged, at various times, that there be nuke-rain-down-on-thee in Japan, the Soviet Union, Korea, China, Vietnam . . . even the freaking Moon.

They got their way, did the serial killers, in Japan. But never after. Nor, in their thereafter everafter lust to later nuke-rain the Soviet Union (multiple times), Cuba, Afghanistan, etc., and on to the present day: Iran. Always, one of more civilians, tethered to the ball of sanity, have blocked them in their way.

Useful news, for those who perceive Reality through that glass-darkly straw in which the boys in the serial-killer blues forever get their way.

Anyway. Once humans not interned in the dirt-patch known as “the United States” began possessing nuclear weapons, suddenly a Great Flap swept across the American land, and it became at once Right and Meet that many and myriad Rules be established, to prevent non-’Mericans from getting themselfs a nuke, or, worse, Wrongly using one.

This is why, these days, every time you look at the news, there is something about Iran or North Korea. Something where some American is leaping and shrieking and running around with his or her hair on fire. Because some humans in these countries—Iran or North Korea—may be thinking about getting theyselves a nuke. And the US, sitting on more nukes than Midas has gold, and still the only country ever to use one to wantonly and needlessly and insanely incinerate hundreds of thousands of people, says This Cannot Be.

Decree of the US being: “I got mine. None, is yours.”

Now, I guess, we must gird our loins to eternally recur through this same sort of nonsense with drones.

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US/North Korea Nonsense Explained

Published April 18, 2013 Asia , Capital Crime , Eternal Recurrence , War On Terra 3 Comments

American Warriors

Published April 18, 2013 Capital Crime , Eternal Recurrence , War On Terra Leave a Comment

In many regions of the earth there exists an iconic representation that is said to embody the essential nature and characteristics of a nation’s people.

In Britain, for example, there is John Bull, a stout, middle-aged, stuffy, twit, with a Union Jack emblazoned across his ample and protruding midsection. In France, meanwhile, there is Marianne, a comely, topless, determined lass, most often depicted leading the people against some Outrage or another.

In the United States there has been Uncle Sam, a tall, lanky, bewhiskered gent, with a penchant for pointing his finger at people, commonly as part of a demand that they go enlist in some wing of the death industry so they can sail off to kill non-Americans somewhere.

But Uncle Sam is over. The new real and true iconic representation that nails precisely the essential nature and characteristics of the American people is American Warrior. That is the fellow shown in the photo above and to the left.

He is America.

This morning the 60 Cro-Magnons of the United States Senate introduced legislation that will emblazon American Warrior on both the nation’s money and its flag. The design for the new American flag may be seen below.

American Warrior patches will also, by law, be sewn on to the uniforms of all the nation’s serial killers, and American Warrior decals will be placed upon all the vehicles employed in the American death industry.

Programs shall be introduced into the nation’s schools to encourage American children to model themselves, physically, mentally, and spiritually, after American Warrior.

Hundreds of thousands of Americans costumed like American Warrior shall be dispatched across the land—like a sort of escape of characters from Disneyland—and those who do not salute American Warrior, as he passes by, shall be guilty of a felony, and will serve five years in the state prison, after which they shall be deported.

It’s a new dawn.

Senate Cro-Magnon Count Completed

Published April 17, 2013 Capital Crime , Eternal Recurrence , Rutting For Office , War On Terra 8 Comments

Anthropologists have completed their count of the Cro-Magnons in the United States Senate.

There are 60.

“Last week the vote on whether to even proceed with S.649 revealed that there are a confirmed 31 Cro-Magnons in the United States Senate,” Dr. E. Pluribus Unum of the American Anthropological Association announced late Wednesday.

“It was expected that votes this week on certain amendments to the bill would smoke out additional Cro-Magnons,” Unum explained. “And indeed, this has now occurred.”

The 60 Senate Cro-Magnons have been definitively identified as Lamar Alexander, Kelly Ayotte, John Barasso, Max Baucus, Mark Begich, Micahel Bennet, Roy Blunt, John Boozman, Richard Burr, Saxby Chambliss, Dan Coats, Tom Coburn, Thad Cochran, Susan Collins, Bob Corker, John Cornyn, Mike Crapo, Ted Cruz, Joe Donnelly, Mike Enzi, Debra Fischer, Jeff Flake, Lindsey Graham, Chuck Grassley, Kay Hagan, Orin Hatch, Martin Heinrich, Heidi Heitkamp, Dean Heller, John Hoeven, James Inhofe, Johnny Isakson, Mike Johanns, Tim Johnson, Roy Johnson, Angus King, Mary Landrieu, Mike Lee, Joe Manchin, John McCain, Mitch McConnell, Jerry Moran, Lisa Murkowski, Rand Paul, Rob Portman, Mark Pryor, James Risch, Pat Roberts, Marco Rubio, Tim Scott, Jeff Sessions, Richard Shelby, Jon Tester, John Thune, Pat Toomey, Mark Udall, Tom Udall, David Vitter, Mark Warner, and Roger Wicker.

These beings were positively confirmed as Cro-Magnons because they voted not to limit the magazine capacity in killing machines; not to outlaw certain military-style killing machines; to permit living-in-fear de-evolvies to conceal-carry their killing machines nationwide, according to the law of whatever Cro-Magnon state they commonly snuffle and knuckle-drag about in, even when they go hooting and stumbling into states where the people have evolved beyond such fear-encrusted nonsense; or not to expand background checks for purchasers of killing machines at (1) gun shows, where a certain form of being goes to buy death weapons, and meanwhile fondle collections of swastika belt-buckles, and (2) on the intertubes, where folks can, in the privacy of their own hovels, order themselves a passel of pistols while frantically masturbating like a monkey.

Most of the Cro-Magnons took the Cro-Magnon position on most or all of these measures.

According to Unum, these votes establish, “with 100 percent scientific certainty,” that “these senators are Cro-Magnons.”

“Only an ur-human could cast such votes,” he explained.

Unum pointed out that the United States Senate has traditionally been dominated by Cro-Magnons.

“These people of the senate, you’ll recall, are the nimrods who couldn’t even vote to abolish human slavery without a massive war,” he said. “Later, it took them decades to recognize the right of women to vote, to approve civil rights legislation, to end the Vietnam War. Etc. Etc.

“They never did get around to approving federal legislation prohibiting the mutilation and killing of black people,” Unum went on. “In fact, the Cro-Magnon president Franklin Roosevelt deliberately refused to pressure the senate to do so, because he wanted approval of his New Deal For White Men.

“As he whined, in his patrician Cro-Magnon way: ’The southerners by reason of the seniority rule in Congress are chairmen or occupy strategic places on most of the senate and House committees. If I come out for the antilynching bill now, they will block every bill I ask Congress to pass.’

“The Cro-Magnon Roosevelt also heaved Japanese-Americans into concentration camps, and stuck his thumb up his buttcrack, massaging his prostate, while the Jews of Europe died one by one.

“Yet this Cro-Magnon receives fevered hosannas from white folk to this day. Because he threw some crumbs to some white men.

“So it goes.”

Unum noted that, in their time, Cro-Magnons have generally been regarded by the citizenry as just regular fellows.

“Traditionally,” he observed, “it has only been with the passage of time that it became clear that those who, say, could not oppose slavery or lynching, or support women’s right to vote or civil rights, were Cro-Magnons.

“But,” he added, “with advancements in science, we can now pinpoint Cro-Magnons contemporaneously. Thus, the positive identification of these 60 ur-humans currently bumbling about, in their dim-bulb way, in the halls of the senate.”

Slartibartfast, whose simple seven-word amendment—“all the guns are going to go”—failed to reach the Senate floor even as an amendment, remains undeterred.

“All the guns are gone,” he said. “Already happened. It’s simply a matter of waiting for time to catch up.”

Grounded

Published April 12, 2013 Capital Crime , War On Terra 1 Comment

So Tuesday I awoke to the obnoxious sound of a passel of whiny-ass serial killers blubbering all over my radio.

First the serial killers of the United States Air Force screamed like a two-year-old that the sequester will result in the grounding of one-third of its death planes—or, in sky-pilot death-speak, “seventeen combat-coded squadrons.”

“Historically, the Air Force has not operated under a tiered readiness construct,” droned serial killer General Mike Hostage, employing the sort of Orwellian language not used by any actual human being.

That one-third of the death-planes will sit idle is nothing but good news. What is required next is to ground the remaining two-thirds.

For the United States does not need an Air Force. This is because the only legitimate use for an air force is in support of ground troops—that is, an army. And the United States does not need an army. Because it is at peace with its neighbors, Canada and Mexico. Therefore, the United States Army shall be eliminated. And so shall the United States Air Force.

All of the planes shall be melted down and recast as steampunk jewlery. The pilots shall be extensively deprogrammed, and then turned over to the Shriners, to be retrained to pilot those funny little cars that drive figure-eights in parades.

It should be noted that the comments to the Air Force Times piece squealing about the sequester-grounding, they provide a fine illustration of the sort of suppurating racist ignoramuses who support those death-sheets devoted to the nation’s serial killers.

Then it was the turn of the two-year-olds in the serial killing United States Navy to scream till they blew stinking loads into their watery diapers that the sequester will ground the Blue Angels—without doubt the most repulsive collection of domestic aerial death-craft extant.

For decades these de-evolved dunderheads have shattered the peace of the skies over nearly every city, town, and dirt-patch in the land, in deeply dumb ear-splitting displays that are supposed to prove . . . something.

Now, they shall shriek no more.

This is nothing but good news. As is the related fact that the weeping and moaning serial killers of the Navy claim that without these sky idjits, Navy knuckleheads shall also have to cancel such useless extravaganzas as “Fleet Week.”

Good. No one in the United States needs any “Fleet Week.” As no one needs the Blue Angels.

As the United States does not need a Navy. Since the US possesses a Coast Guard, perfectly capable of patrolling the waters of the continental United States (Alaska and Hawaii are imperial possessions, and should be permitted to break free, as should all overseas territories, possessions, protectorates, and the like), a Navy is not necessary. Too, the United States Marines needs to be folded back into the Navy, from whence they sprang; they are support troops for ships, that’s all they are. So: down the loo, they go, too.

Thus, no more Navy. No more Marines.

The ships and planes of the Navy shall be pulverized and then reformed into little trinkets to be placed in Cracker Jack boxes. Navy personnel shall be extensively deprogrammed, and then assigned to helm those cute little boats in the Disneyland Jungle Cruise. Those that can’t handle that task—and there will be many—can be put to work scrubbing floors.

The ex-Marines, they can shovel shit in zoos.

As has been observed here before, that portion of the sequester that effects the serial killers of the United States Armed Forces is an unexpected glorious godsend, one that should be daily, duly embraced by any actual real true anti-war person. The goal next is to secure the permanence of any and all cuts, and to pursue further cuts, until the Already Happened is reached: an annual US military budget of $0.

However, as has also previously been here observed, there do not seem at present to be any actual real true anti-war people in the United States.

Senate Cro-Magnons Identified

Published April 12, 2013 Capital Crime , War On Terra Leave a Comment

Thirty-one members of the United States Senate have been definitively identified as Cro-Magnons.

These would be John Barasso, Mark Begich, Roy Blunt, John Boozman, Dan Coats, Thad Cochran, John Cornyn, Mike Crapo, Ted Cruz, Mike Enzi, Debra Fischer, Chuck Grassley, Orin Hatch, James Inhofe, Mike Johanns, Roy Johnson, Mike Lee, Mitch McConnell, Jerry Moran, Lisa Murkowski, Rand Paul, Rob Portman, Mark Pryor, James Risch, Pat Roberts, Marco Rubio, Tim Scott, Jeff Sessions, Richard Shelby, John Thune, and David Vitter.

“It has long been suspected that the Senate contains a high concentration of Cro-Magnons,” announced Dr. E. Pluribus Unum of the American Anthropological Association late Thursday. “But today’s vote on whether to proceed with S.649 at last provides clear evidence that nearly a third of all United States senators are indeed full-blooded Cro-Magnons.

“This,” Unum explained, “is because only an ur-human could vote to prevent even debating very modest proposals to control the nation’s killing machines.”

Dr. Unum expects that in the coming days, further votes on S.649 will smoke out additional Cro-Magnons.

“Those who cast votes against background checks, clip-capacity restrictions, and assault killing machines will demonstrate that they too are Cro-Magnons,” Dr. Unum explained.

Dr. Unum noted that if Slartibartfast’s simple seven-word amendment—“all the guns are going to go”—reaches the Senate floor, it is possible that “the entire Senate shall be revealed as a nest of Cro-Magnons.”

Mother And Child Reunion

Published April 10, 2013 Capital Crime , War On Terra Leave a Comment

Manfully they are struggling, there in the United States Senate, to craft some sort of gun control bill. One that will be something more than a bad joke, but that also will not compel the Cro-Magnon contingent to set fire to the place.

This morning came news that two senators with serious ties to Cro-Magnonism had emerged with a background-check bill that is said to have a prayer of passing.

That would be Joe Manchin III, Democrat of West Virginia, representing a state so riven with racist retroverts that 40% of the Democratic voters in the 2012 presidential primaries cast ballots for a Texas prison inmate, rather than that monstrous black man in the White House. And where apparently The Thing To Do is to prance around on a television show nakedly celebrating your essential yeehawness, until you “go to heaven” upon reeling out of a bar at 3 a.m. to carbon monoxide yourself getting your SUV stuck in the mud.

Then there is Patrick Toomey of Pennsylvania, home of the glow-tombs of Three Mile Meltdown, and doctors so disabled by a demented variant of Jeohvahism they would prefer that young women be corpsed on a slab, rather than use birth control. The best that can be said about Toomey is that he is not Rick Santorum, the batshit insane grub-in-a-skinsuit whom Pennsylvania voters previously heaved into the Senate.

In any event, the Manchin/Toomey Cro-Magnon-friendly ”compromise” would expand background checks for purchasers of killing machines to gun shows—where a certain form of human goes to get theyself a new gun, while also pausing to fondle collections of swastika belt-buckles—and the intertubes, where currently humans can order theyselves a passel of pistols, while meanwhile masturbating like a monkey.

These provisions are Sane. Also Sane is a requirement that these sales be subject to record-keeping.

But, alas, in order to secure votes from a sufficient number of Cro-Magnons, there are some Manchin/Toomey items that are Not Sane: such as exempting from any checks or record-keeping the transfer of killing machines between family members.

Because, lord knows, nobody would want to Know if doomsday prepper Nancy Lanza decided to shower some more guns on son Adam, blazing away at targets down there in the basement, obsessively killing people on his Call to Duty video screen, dreaming of the day he too can become a fully authorized Semper Fi serial killer in the United States Marines.

Which is exactly what happened.

Scrambled

Published April 7, 2013 Capital Crime , Eternal Recurrence , War On Terra , Wyrds Leave a Comment

“She was living with a pilot,” said Mrs. Pelling. “Tiny, she called him. If it hadn’t been for Tiny, she’d have starved. He was gorgeous but the war had turned him inside out. Well of course it would! Same with our boys, wasn’t it? Missions night after night, day after day.” Putting back her head, she screamed very loudly, “‘Scramble!’“

“She’s mad,” Mr. Pelling explained.

“Nervous wrecks at eighteen, half of them. But they stuck it. They loved Churchill, you see. They loved his guts.”

“Blind mad,” Mr. Pelling repeated. “Barking.”

—John Le Carre, The Honourable Schoolboy

You Could Even Say It Glows

Published March 29, 2013 Capital Crime , War On Terra , Wyrds Leave a Comment

“When I was a cadet, far back in the days of Khrushchev, we set off a hydrogen device in the Arctic Sea. It was a hundred-megaton bomb, the largest ever detonated then or since. Actually, it was a fifty-megaton warhead wrapped in a uranium case to double the yield. A very dirty bomb. We didn’t warn the Swedes or the Finns, and we certainly didn’t tell our own people who were drinking milk under this rain of fallout a thousand times worse than Chernobyl. We didn’t tell our fishermen who sailed in the Arctic Sea. I signed on as a third mate, and my mission was to use a Geiger counter without telling anyone else on board. We caught one shark that measured four hundred roentgens. What could I say to the captain—to throw his quota overboard? His crew would ask questions, and then the cry would spread. But we let the Americans know, and the result was that Kennedy was frightened enough to come to the table and sing a test-ban treaty.”

—Martin Cruz Smith, Polar Star

Hold The Mayo

Published March 14, 2013 Peasant Palate , War On Terra 65 Comments

There are many things wrong with the British. Probably an entire blog could be dedicated to the subject. Probably one is. I’m just too lazy to look it up.

Start with the food. What the British eat, this is not considered by normal humans to be edible. British cuisine primarily involves blood, and boiling. If you present a food item to a Britisher, s/he will first try to squeeze blood out of it. Then s/he will toss it into a pot of boiling water.

The situation is so dire that when foodman Mark Bittman compiled The Best Recipes in the World, which contains thousands of entries, gathered up hither and yon, from sea to shining sea, not one was sourced to England.

The British do not comprehend that they eat worse than a snuffling junkyard dog. Else they would not have permitted publication of this survey, which confirms that their favorite condiment is mayonnaise.

Now, mayonnaise is not a condiment. It is not edible. It is not a food. It is an invasive alien species. To create mayonnaise requires but a single egg, and then however much vegetable oil one chooses to employ. It is possible to keep adding oil, adding oil, adding oil, until the entire planet is slathered with the stuff. This is, in fact, mayonnaise’s Plan. It is like Ice-Nine. It would render the earth uninhabitable.

There is so much fat in mayonnaise that the medical literature is chock-a-block with horrific reports of people whose aortas burst, merely from pulling a jar of the stuff from the refrigerator.

There is a reason why the best-selling brand of mayonnaise is called Hellmann’s. Because mayonnaise is literally from Hell.

The British actually produce a pretty decent condiment. Coleman’s mustard. Nice and hot. But Coleman’s finished fourth, among the British themselves.

Finishing third was something called HP Brown Sauce. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know what that is. And I for sure don’t want to know what is Daddies Brown Sauce. Which finished sixth.

Not a single Britisher identified salsa as a favorite condiment.

Which is why the British are Doomed.

Shazam

Published March 8, 2013 Capital Crime , Destry , Eternal Recurrence , War On Terra 15 Comments

It has long been established by Science Men that the reason for the existence of Texas is to provide a place to contain the full allotment of sand allocated to the North American continent.

You see, back when Slartibartfast and the gang were designing the planet, it was determined that each area of the earth should contain certain amounts of various resources.

For reasons absolutely unknown to me, it was decided by these Designers that the North American continent must needs a lot of sand.

Thus, Texas.

Big enough, to hold a whole hell of a lot of sand.

Today, countless millennia on, they’re proud of their sand, the humans down there in Texas.

“This is the good stuff,” Jordan said as he fingered the golden-colored sand. “This is what everybody wants.”

Now, I have nothing particularly against sand. It is true that I happen to prefer other features—water, mountains, moss, ala—but that’s, I suppose, just me.

Sand, I guess, like everybody else, has to be some place.

I just wish the Designers had eased up enough on the North American sand quota, so that there didn’t need to be a Texas.

Know that it isn’t the sand on the ground that grieves me.

It’s what happens when the sand gets into the heads of Texans.

Sand is an abrasive; it rubs away stuff. A healthy human brain features many wrinkles: it is in the wrinkles that intelligence resides. But when sand gets into the human head, it abrades away the wrinkles. Leaving the brain smooth. To wit, without intelligence.

And, these days, when a Texan’s brain has been sanded sufficiently smooth, he is sent to Congress

Previously the premier Texas sand-brain was Ron “Rugs” Paul, noted Negro-hater and Hebrew-fearer, well-known for his unswerving allegiance to Occupy Womb Street, and his penchant for engaging in sexual congress with precious metals.

However, an unfortunate smelting accident erased the entirety of Paul’s genitalia, necessitating his retirement from Congress. After serving there so many terms that, when you say the word “America” to someone who doesn’t live in that country, they just laugh.

So now, Paul gone, the chief sand-brain from the great state of Texsand is Louis Gohmert.

A being whom, once non-Americans get a load of him, will not cause them to laugh. But instead to build spaceships. To get clean away.

furthur=>

I Am He As You Are He As We Are Me As We Are All Together

Published March 4, 2013 Asia , Eternal Recurrence , Into The Light , Variations In B-Flat , War On Terra , Wyrds 29 Comments

Soul Sacrifice

Published February 10, 2013 Capital Crime , Eternal Recurrence , War On Terra 4 Comments

Now it is said that Eddie Routh, the Semper Fi guy accused of back-shooting Super Sniper Seal back-shooter Chris Kyle, arrived shortly thereafter at the home of his sister, behind the wheel of Kyle’s black Ford truck; Routh informed her he had “traded his soul for a new truck.”

He stated that he was required to kill both Kyle and Chad Littlefield because “he couldn’t trust them.” So, “he killed them before they could kill them.”

All three men had been wandering around with weapons at a Texas gun range. Reports are that Kyle and Littlefield had taken Routh to the gun range so he could bang-bang shoot-shoot as a form of “therapy.”

Routh had not been doing well for some time. A veteran of Operation Iraqi Fiefdom, Routh in June of 2012 was identified by his mother as the suspect in a burglary of her home in which the thief absconded with nine bottles of pills. In September of 2012, Routh was hospitalized after he threatened to kill himself and his family. Responding law-enforcement officers found him “shoeless and smelling of booze”; Routh stated “he was hurting and that his family does not understand what he has been through.”

On January 19, Routh was again hospitalized, this time after a Dallas woman told police she feared for his safety. He was released on January 24, soon returned, then released again, this time on January 29. It is said that Routh was released from this latest hospital-stay, against his family’s wishes, four days before he went out on the range with Kyle and Littlefield.

Kyle was an advocate of placing guns in the hands of troubled veterans.

In his book, Kyle wrote that gun-range therapy was meant to be easygoing and fun, with teasing, jokes and bonding over beers and stories.

“What wounded veterans don’t need is sympathy,” Kyle wrote. “They need to be treated like the men they are: equals, heroes, and people who still have tremendous value for society. If you want to help them, start there. In a funny way, bustin’ back and forth shows more respect than asking ‘Are you OK?’ in a sickly sweet voice.”

Oh yes. Heaven forbid that one inquire whether another human being is okay. Better to give them a beer, and a gun.

In a response to this piece, red reader roger recently revealed here that he almost became, like Kyle, a sniper.

I’m glad to see the article. It’s struck a personal theme for me. You see, they wanted me to be a sniper in vietnam. I would have done it, too. But a soon-to-retire active us army veteran of WW2 and Korea combat took me aside and, choosing his words cautiously, set me straight on that possible future. He’s gone now. I am forever in his debt. They say that the souls of the people you kill all go into a bag. A bag you’ll have to drag along throughout your life – and maybe for eternity. Evidently there were too many in Kyle’s bag. Garrulous souls, perhaps, and they wanted Kyle to join them in their whited sepulchers.

Ekpyrosis

Published February 7, 2013 Capital Crime , Eternal Recurrence , War On Terra 23 Comments

in this place or in any other place
may there come abundant peace
grace, lovingkindness, and compassion
long life
ample sustenance, and salvation

may there be abundant peace from heaven
and good life
satisfaction, help, comfort, refuge
healing, redemption, forgiveness, atonement
relief, and salvation

—Kaddish, prayer for & from the dead

Chris Kyle killed human beings for money.

On the American taxpayers’ dime, he, for too many years, wandered to and fro in Iraq, killing, from concealment, from ambush, from hiding, a craven coward, citizens of a country where he had no business being.

Kyle was there because, in Iraq, George II was determined to pursue, and end, an atavistic dynastic family feud, like something out of the 8th Century, roll right over that country, because Saddam Hussein, decreed he, was “the guy who tried to kill my dad.”

Though George II was not, alas, able to mount in the Oval Office Saddam’s head—after he had successfully cut off from life, in the great dynastic family-feud tradition, both Saddam, and his sons—he did take prideful personal strutting possession of Saddam’s metallic phallus, in the form of his revolver. Which, one should suppose, must serve as the next best thing.

And because George II’s Secretary of Defense, Colonel Walter E. Rumsfeld, advised, when the planes flew into the towers on September 11, that Afghanistan should mostly be eschewed, as a retaliatory site, because Iraq presented “better targets.” For all his little war toys. And all his little war boys.

That Kyle “fought” like a craven coward should not be something laid wholly at his own feet. For, as I first expressed here, cowardice today defines the way Americans wage war. A nation of cowardly back-shooters. From their snipers, to their drones.

And, as I said back then, every time an American, wielding sniper to drone, cowardly back-shoots a human being, in that human being’s home region, said American births, in full flower, another dark Jesse James.

“Blood,” knew Aeschylus, some 2500 years ago, “begets blood.”

And so, Saturday, Chris Kyle, the cowardly back-shooter of the US Navy, of a career of cowardly back-shooting in a country land-locked but for a tiny tip, where no Navy-man should ever logically or even sanely go, was himself cowardly back-shot. By a veteran of the United States Marine Corps.

Semper fi.

furthur=>

She Could Be Heroes

Published January 23, 2013 Capital Crime , War On Terra , War On Women , Wyrds 3 Comments

Senior defense officials say Pentagon chief Leon Panetta is removing the military’s ban on women serving in combat, opening hundreds of thousands of front-line positions and potentially elite commando jobs after more than a decade at war.

—Associated Press

A World War II study determined that, after 60 days of continuous combat, 98 percent of all surviving soldiers will have become psychiatric casualties. A common trait among the remaining 2 percent was a predisposition toward having “aggressive psychopathic personalities.” Lt. Col. Dave Grossman in his book On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society, notes: “It is not too far from the mark to observe that there is something about continuous, inescapable combat which will drive 98 percent of all men insane, and the other 2 percent were crazy when they got there.”

War is necrophilia. This necrophilia is central to soldiering just as it is central to the makeup of suicide bombers and terrorists. The necrophilia is hidden under platitudes about duty or comradeship. It is unleashed especially in moments when we seem to have little to live for and no hope, or in moments when the intoxication of war is at its highest pitch. When we spend long enough in war, it comes to us as a kind of release, a fatal and seductive embrace that can consummate the long flirtation with our own destruction.

War ascendant wipes out Eros. It wipes out delicacy and tenderness. Its communal power seeks to render the individual obsolete, to hand all passions, all choice, all voice to the crowd.

War is the beautiful young nymph in the fairy tale that, when kissed, exhales the vapors of the underworld.

The ancient Greeks had a word for such a fate: ekpyrosis.

It means to be consumed by a ball of fire. They used it to describe heroes.

—Chris Hedges

red

Archive for the 'War On Terra' Category

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Serial Killers Continue To Cry

Bushed

Errand Boy, Sent By Grocery Clerks, To Collect A Bill

Drone Who Thou Wilt Is The Whole Of The Law

US/North Korea Nonsense Explained

American Warriors

Senate Cro-Magnon Count Completed

Grounded

Senate Cro-Magnons Identified

Mother And Child Reunion

Scrambled

You Could Even Say It Glows

Hold The Mayo

Shazam

I Am He As You Are He As We Are Me As We Are All Together

Soul Sacrifice

Ekpyrosis

She Could Be Heroes

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