Last year there were a lot of daffodils, but not a lot of iris.
This year there were almost no daffodils, but now there is a lot of iris.
I have no idea why this is. Because no one is talking.
When you are a red and transparent bearded dragon, and you are really relaxed, sleeping at night, up there on your sticks, you just let your front legs totally hang down.
I now have three wicker rocking chairs, and two wicker non-rockers.
I am The Wicker Man.
When you are zebra finches, you are real easy about what is “daylight.”
If somebody turns a light on where you are, you come out of your nest and start klacking around, as if it is the dawn.
Humans should not take advantage of this. They can muck up their own sleep schedules, but they should not discombobulate these Klacks.
If you are trying to grow outside various different-one plants, and you go to the intertubes, to attempt to learn what deer will not eat, you cannot, in the end, trust anything that you read.
For there is only one thing, for sure, that no deer, anywhere, will not eat, and that is cement.
Squirrels get a bad reputation among humans because most humans only observe squirrels on the road. Where they zig and zag back and forth in front of incoming automobiles.
This leads humans to believe that squirrels are brainless. But they are not.
A lot of Bad Animals want to eat squirrels. Squirrels cannot outrun many of these Bad Animals. But they can confuse and frustrate the fuck out of them, by zigging and zagging, zigging and zagging. Through this, they can often get away.
When humans started inflicting automobiles upon the planet, about 100 years or so ago, squirrels, quite rightly, regarded these automobiles as a Danger. Evolution had taught them that the way to evade Danger—if there was no tree immediately at hand—is to zig and zag.
That doesn’t often work with automobiles.
But you can’t blame the squirrels.
Evolution sometimes takes a long time to catch up. For instance, the reason why many—and soon most—Americans, they are as fat as blimps, is because humans evolved to savor most the taste of fruit and meat. Which, these days, means candy bars and McDonalds hamburgers. Affordable to almost anybody.
For 100,000 years, fruit and meat were most often in short supply. No longer.
And so Americans, till evolution catches up, will weigh more than many planets.
Some creatures, in re automobiles, have it even worse than squirrels.
Take the wolverine. Evolution had taught the wolverine that, no matter what it was, even if it was a grizzly bear, the best thing to do was to stand and fight.
And so, when the automobile was unleashed upon the land, the wolverine would stand in the road, and say to the automobile: “C’mon.”
This is why, today, there are no wolverines, where there are automobiles.
Squirrels, when not afflicted by automobiles, are actually pretty disciplined and direct.
They have also, over the last two years, buried about 700,000 peanuts around this yard.
This is what amuses me about archeologists and such who dig up some shard from 7000 years back and then construct an entire Reality around it.
For, if someone were to dig up this place, a century or two along the line, they would no doubt conclude: “this property, without doubt, was a peanut plantation.”
When, in truth, there were just a fair number of squirrels, and jays, to whom I fed peanuts. Because they liked them so. And because I liked them, so.