Archive for January 16th, 2011
The Romanian government needs money. Now, all governments always need money—or at least that’s what they say—but Romanian government officials have now decreed their nation’s financial straits to be so dire as to require levying a 16% tax on the income earned by the nation’s witches, astrologers, and fortune-tellers.
Some witches are turning to black pepper and yeast, in order to sow discord within the government. From the banks of the Danube River, other witches have hurled mandrake root into the waters, calling Wrongness down upon the president and his associates.
Said president, Traian Basescu, is believed to have taken to wearing purple, the royal color, in order to deflect the wrath of the witches.
Bratara Buzea, self-identified “Queen Witch,” warns that “we do harm to those who harm us. They want to take the country out of this crisis using us? They should get us out of the crisis because they brought us into it.” Buzea, who was imprisoned in 1977 for practicing withcraft by former Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceausescu, promised that “my curses always work.”
Buzea is employing several sister witches in a ceremony that relies upon cat excrement and a dead dog to Bring Badness to those who would rake in her coin.