Archive for October 21st, 2010

New Pony

Carl Paladino, teabagger candidate for governor of New York, will be electorally crushed by Democrat Andrew Cuomo on November 2, and thereafter will be looking for a job. So Larry Flynt has offered him one: executive editor of Hustler magazine.

As I recently referenced here, Paladino is the fellow who enjoys forwarding emails to friends and associates containing racist and pornographic images. That, until caught, he repeatedly circulated photos and videos offering such wonderments as women humping horses, he has since admitted was “somewhat careless,” and he has offered his apologies to “the ladies.”

Notwithstanding this apology, Flynt says Paladino is his kind of guy. Recognizing in Paladino a “keen instinct for kinky sex,” the Hustler publisher has gone public with the following announcement: “I’d like to offer him the job of executive editor of Hustler magazine. It’s clear he’s better suited to join our team than be the Governor of the State of New York.”

Flynt praised Paladino as “a natural pornographer who has a skilled eye for unusual views and acrobatics.” He assured the disgraced teabagger that “at Hustler magazine, we don’t ask for forgiveness and we don’t get lost in empty rhetoric.

“In urging Paladino to take this offer, I can only quote the Republican Tea Party candidate for the U.S. Senate from Nevada, Sharron Angle: ‘Man up.’”

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We Are Many

And he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many.

—Mark 5:9

Runt Limprod, the nations’ premier radio hate-show host, is not content with having goosed upward the numbers of those believing Barack Obama is a Muslim, and not an American citizen, what with his coy references to Indonesia as the place “where Obama was bor— , I mean, grew up,” and his christening of the president as “Imam Obama.”

No, it’s not enough that 58% of Republicans now believe that Obama was either born outside the US, or “don’t know,” while 52% believe that it is either “definitely true” or “probably true” that Obama “sympathizes with the goals of Islamic fundamentalists who want to impose Islamic law around the world.”

For now Limprod has decided to go to work on inflating the number of Americans who believe that Obama is in fact the Antichrist. Currently 24% of our fellow Americans hew to this notion. Since Limprod has taken to referring to Obama as “demonic,” a creature out of “The Omen; 666 and all that,” that number can only be expected to rise.

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When I Worked

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